There are 10 steps to heaven

Sainthood is not something you can really aspire to; indeed, the more openly you strive for it, the less likely you are succeed. According to the Vatican rulebook, candidates must demonstrate Christian virtues to a "heroic" level. Charity is the virtue most highly prized these days, but humility and piety help. Candidates also need to perform at least one miracle in their lifetime - a condition that is waived if they die a martyr.

That, in a way, is the easy bit. The hard part comes with the Vatican bureaucracy involved in elevating a humble servant of God to sainthood.

At least five years after the would-be saint's death, his or her diocese can initiate the canonisation process by gathering evidence and passing it on to the Vatican. The diocese also has to find and pay for a sponsor, or legal representative, to press the case.

A historical committee is established to examine all documentary evidence. This can take years, even centuries.

An official from the Vatican Congregation for the Cause of Saints decides whether to recommend the candidate for beatification.

A Papal decree then declares the candidate to be "venerable". If evidence of a miracle is forthcoming, then beatification follows - a status that elevates the candidate to virtual sainthood in the region or country where he or she was best known.

If the candidate can be shown to have performed another miracle posthumously - through prayers - then he or she is eligible for canonisation.

A few things can hurry the agonising process along, or at least favour it:

Money. The founder of the powerful, well-endowed order Opus Dei, Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer, made it from death to beatification in 17 years. "It is not always the most holy before God who are elected saints," the canonisation lawyer Romualdo Rodrigo has said, "because the process involves considerable expenditure and requires unwavering commitment."

Being Pope. Even execrable Popes are considered for canonisation, and quite a few succeed. Pius IX, who declared papal infallibility in the 1870s, is being investigated, despite being considered one of the worst Pontiffs of recent times. Pius X made it to beatification even though he persecuted modernisers and told whopping lies. There is talk of proclaiming Pius XII, John XXIII and Paul VI saints for the Millennium, although all three candidatures are subject to political wrangles.

Good looks. In a religion where iconography has always been important, the short, the fat and the ugly are at a disadvantage. Flattering photography has taken over from flattering painting to sway the Vatican committees.

Not smoking. Pius X almost didn't make it because he was partial to cigarettes. One photo submitted to support the cause of Piergiorgio Frassati, a Catholic activist who died in the 1920s, had his cigarette airbrushed out, but left its shadow showing on his white shirt.

Dying well. Another strike against Frassati is that he was accidentally buried alive (his doctor jumped the gun) and died in horrible agony. Vatican experts say this might count against him because he is unlikely to have passed away with saintly serenity.