'Everyone is concerned about Shrien's mental health – but not about getting justice for Anni'

The sister of murdered bride Anni Dewani describes her family's torment to Terri Judd

The Hindocha family reacted with their usual compassion and dignity as they emerged from court 10 days ago after yet another delay to Shrien Dewani's extradition but, as Anni's sister has revealed, it was another moment of tortuous frustration in the family's long journey to find out what happened in South Africa.

Ami Denborg was the quieter of the two sisters, happier to watch her younger, vivacious sibling enjoy the limelight. Yet the engineer and mother-of-two, has become the voice of the Hindocha family through the slow legal process to have Mr Dewani extradited to South Africa accused of the murder of his bride.

When judges halted his extradition at the eleventh hour, agreeing with his lawyers that his depression and post traumatic stress made such a move oppressive, the family simply reiterated their plea for justice. But speaking to The Independent, Mrs Denborg, 34, revealed the true turmoil of that day. "It is torture for us," she said, "We have been waiting so patiently. We are back to square one.

"It is really frustrating. It is all up to his health. For 18 months nothing has happened. He has not improved, or has he? His conditions are not untreatable. How come they are not making him better? We all felt very, very sad and despondent because we just want the truth."

Anni Dewani had just enjoyed a spectacular wedding in Mumbai and was honeymooning in Cape Town on the night of 13 November 2010 when the taxi driver took the couple through the township of Gugulethu. The car was hijacked and Mr Dewani insists he was ejected along with the driver Zola Tonga. His 28-year-old wife's body was found the following morning in the abandoned car, her life ended by a single shot to the neck.

Tonga later admitted to the crime, claiming as part of a plea agreement Mr Dewani, 32, had ordered the hit, and the South African authorities called for the husband to be extradited to face charges of murder, kidnapping, robbery with aggravated circumstances and obstructing administration of justice. But lawyers for the Bristol businessman have argued he is unfit to stand trial in South Africa.

Despite their dignified demeanour at every court hearing, the strain on Mrs Denborg's face offers a hint of the paralysing grief the family has endured.

"We are still struggling with the fact she has gone," she said. "I miss my little sister so much. I look at my family today and all I can see is what's missing. She was so talkative, so sociable, so bubbly."

Her husband Henning, she said, had been incredibly supportive and she has found some solace in her two children, William, 5, and Alicia, 4. It is watching her parents Vinod, 63, and Nilam's grief that has proved most heart breaking.

At their home in Mariestad, Sweden, they light a candle in Anni's memory every morning. "Her bags are still there. They can't open them without breaking down. Her room's untouched. To see your parents so broken is hard and there's nothing my brother Anish and I can do to help deal with the pain. You can see it in my father's eyes. He is devastated."

The 12 March would have been Mrs Dewani's 30th birthday and the family returned to Lake Vanern in Sweden, where they spent their childhood holidays and where her ashes are scattered.

Dealing with their grief under constant press scrutiny, Mrs Denborg said, had been a difficult learning curve: "I'd never had any contact with the media before... It is just part of my life now."

She still struggles with the fact her sister had second thoughts about the marriage and the family convinced her it was simply last minute nerves. "I think about it, if I had not told her to go back, maybe she would be alive today."

Arts & Entertainment
The Honesty Policy is a group of anonymous Muslims who believe that the community needs a space to express itself without shame or judgement
music
News
Waitrose will be bringing in more manned tills
newsOverheard in Waitrose: documenting the chatter in 'Britain's poshest supermarket'
Life & Style
life
News
Who makes you happy?
happy listSend your nominations now for the Independent on Sunday Happy List
Arts & Entertainment
Ian Anderson, the leader of British rock band Jethro Tull, (right) and British guitar player Martin Barre (left) perform on stage
musicJethro Tull frontman leads ‘prog rock’ revival
Arts & Entertainment
Back in the suit: There are only so many variations you can spin on the lives or adventures of Peter Parker
filmReview: Almost every sequence and set-up in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 seems familiar from some earlier superhero film
Arts & Entertainment
Jack Gleeson as Joffrey Baratheon in Game of Thrones
tv
Life & Style
Father and son: Michael Williams with son Edmund
lifeAs his son’s bar mitzvah approaches, CofE-raised Michael Williams describes the unexpected joys he’s experienced in learning about his family’s other faith
Sport
Gareth Bale dribbled from inside his own half and finished calmly late in the final to hand Real a 2-1 win at the Mestalla in Valencia
sport
Arts & Entertainment
Who laughs lass: Jenny Collier on stage
comedy... writes Jenny Collier, the comedian whose recent show was cancelled because there were 'too many women' on the bill
News
House proud: keeping up with the Joneses now extends to children's playhouses
newsLuxury playhouses now on the market for as much as £800
News
news
Life & Style
Stir it up: the writer gets a lichen masterclass from executive chef Vivek Singh of the Cinnamon restaurants
food + drinkLichen is the surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus, thanks to our love of Scandinavian and Indian cuisines
Extras
indybest
Arts & Entertainment
Ken Loach (left) and Mike Leigh who will be going head to head for one of cinema's most coveted prizes at this year's Cannes Film Festival
filmKen Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or
News
The academic, Annamaria Testa, has set out on her website a list of 300 English words that she says Italians ought to stop using
newsAcademic speaks out against 'Italianglo' - the use of English words in Italian language
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition iPad app?

Day In a Page

How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe: Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC

How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe

Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC
Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'

British Muslims's Happy video attacked as 'sinful'

The four-minute clip by Honesty Policy has had more than 300,000 hits on YouTube
Church of England-raised Michael Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith

Michael Williams: Do as I do, not as I pray

Church of England-raised Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith
A History of the First World War in 100 moments: A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife

A History of the First World War in 100 moments

A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife
Comedian Jenny Collier: 'Sexism I experienced on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

Jenny Collier: 'Sexism on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

The comedian's appearance at a show on the eve of International Women's Day was cancelled because they had "too many women" on the bill
Cannes Film Festival: Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or

Cannes Film Festival

Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or
The concept album makes surprise top ten return with neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson

The concept album makes surprise top ten return

Neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson is unexpected success
Lichen is the surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus, thanks to our love of Scandinavian and Indian cuisines

Lichen is surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus

Emily Jupp discovers how it can give a unique, smoky flavour to our cooking
10 best baking books

10 best baking books

Planning a spot of baking this bank holiday weekend? From old favourites to new releases, here’s ten cookbooks for you
Jury still out on Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini

Jury still out on Pellegrini

Draw with Sunderland raises questions over Manchester City manager's ability to motivate and unify his players
Ben Stokes: 'Punching lockers isn't way forward'

Ben Stokes: 'Punching lockers isn't way forward'

The all-rounder has been hailed as future star after Ashes debut but incident in Caribbean added to doubts about discipline. Jon Culley meets a man looking to control his emotions
Mark Johnston: First £1 million jackpot spurs him on

Mark Johnston: First £1 million jackpot spurs him on

The most prize money ever at an All-Weather race day is up for grabs at Lingfield on Friday, and the record-breaking trainer tells Jon Freeman how times have changed
Ricky Gervais: 'People are waiting for me to fail. If you think it's awful, then just don't watch it'

Ricky Gervais: 'People are waiting for me to fail'

As the second series of his divisive sitcom 'Derek' hits screens, the comedian tells James Rampton why he'll never bow to the critics who habitually circle his work
Mad Men series 7, TV review: The suits are still sharp, but Don Draper has lost his edge

Mad Men returns for a final fling

The suits are still sharp, but Don Draper has lost his edge
Google finds a lift into space will never get off the ground as there is no material strong enough for a cable from Earth into orbit

Google finds a lift into space will never get off the ground

Technology giant’s scientists say there is no material strong enough for a cable from Earth into orbit