Moat's emotions overcome by rage

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The Independent Online

Raoul Moat's murderous rage may have stemmed from beatings and abuse at the hands of his mentally ill mother.

The former doorman was plagued by bad dreams and disturbing memories of his childhood.



He was beaten regularly as a young boy and once witnessed all of his toys being burned by his mother, who the inquest heard suffered from bipolar disorder.



His bottled up feelings of rage and rejection led to nightmares as an adult in which he was a seven-year-old boy being chased by monsters.



He was so paranoid he slept with an axe and a crossbow stashed beneath his bed, and watched CCTV footage of passers by outside his home compulsively.



In recordings he made on a dictating machine following his shooting spree, the fugitive described feeling as though he had a wild animal raging inside him.



He said he struggled to contain his emotions and that he "hated himself" because of it.



Experts said he was paranoid, suspicious, mistrustful of authority figures and blamed other people for his misfortune - but was not mentally ill.



Moat said: "I feel like King Kong when he's right at the top of that building, all messed up, when he's in a real mess. I hate myself. I do hate myself. It is a part of me. I'm like the Incredible Hulk.



"It is not anger, it is something completely different. It is just like a wild animal, and it's been there all my life.



"I'm not sure if my parents put it there or if it has always been there. I've had it at the back of my mind and it only ever comes out when I get hurt."



In 2006, a psychologist wrote to Moat's Newcastle GP to say his patient felt "jumpy all the time".



Two years later he completed a questionnaire ahead of a psychological assessment in which he said he had no idea what form the treatment would take.



He wrote: "Knowing my luck it will be all straitjackets, electricity to the head and a cage."



Forensic psychologist John Hughes, who was brought in to advise expert police negotiators, said: "He feels like there is a huge, terrible, angry person in there.



"If you look at his behaviour as a whole there is not the sort of chaotic disorder and failure to plan there would be if he was mentally ill."













Source: PA