High heels, low tops and that (other) dress
The hits, misses, hats and horrors assessed by Lisa Markwell
Saturday 30 April 2011
With a swagger worthy of Liam Gallagher, the best man managed to keep his bad-boy image intact while carrying out his duties. The damage he might do later to female guests' heels with those spurs is a frightening thought, but he's banking on everyone loving a man in uniform.
Victoria and David Beckham
You've got to admire Victoria's dedication – not many heavily pregnant women would wear stratospheric (dare we say, stripper-like) shoes. Her bump-skimming dress matched David's made-to-measure Ralph Lauren ensemble. (Shame his high collar couldn't hide his neck tattoo.)
John and Sally Bercow
Where to start? The Speaker's wife had a terrific opportunity (and a front-row seat) to show some style. Instead she chose to show off her décolletage in a quite unseemly fashion. "It's not about you, love," was the silent refrain around the Abbey. Still, better than a bedsheet.
Marie-Chantal of Greece
Amid a sea of perilously perched pillboxes and confoundingly ubiquitous fascinators, this Princess's elegant dove grey hat got her ahead. One of Europe's most chic royals, MC – as she's known – proves that you don't need a figure-hugging dress to show off a great figure.
HM The Queen
The one woman who will never lose her head and wear a unicorn horn or peacock tail on her head is Her Majesty. Resplendent in primrose with a proper hat and Queen Mary's True Lovers knot brooch on her shoulder, we detect there was a hint of satisfied smile playing on her lips.
Any other bride would have been upstaged by this, which we'll call "demure fox". Pippa may not have got the prince, but she became the lust object of every other man watching when she sashayed down the aisle (it looked just as good from behind).
Quips about her pointing out the nearest toilet and emergency exit in the Abbey were silenced when the mother of the bride stepped out the car in a supremely elegant Catherine Walker coat-dress: those slim calves and that Hollywood smile didn't hurt either. No fear of The Firm here.
Zara, soon to be a bride herself, must have attended a zillion posh weddings, so perhaps the giant bow on her coat's backside was part of a uniform we don't understand. But for chic make-up and understated sexiness, she won. (Also, seeing her and Mike Tindall sharing mints was adorable.)
Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice
The jokes started before the ceremony ended. Dress like a budget airline seat; hat like a commemorative urn... Was Fergie to blame? A pity that Prince Andrew's girls were so comprehensively outshone by Earl Spencer's blonde hotties – they both looked sensational the night before.
What, no hat? One woman who usually ups the sartorial ante is the Prime Minister's wife. So was her bare head a fashion statement or a political one? Her Burberry dress was a hit, selling out online in five minutes, but we thought pashminas and chunky necklaces were strictly out of vogue.
Duchess of Cornwall
Amazingly, this is one of the day's best outfits. Camilla might have mixed feelings about the nation's outpouring of love surpassing that at her own nuptials (to the power of 1,000), but she looked poised and, well, appropriate in pastel-toned Anna Valentine. Great hat, babe.
With all eyes on the drug-ravaged nose of TPT, was it wise to wear a hat that pointed directly at it? Still, the cobalt blue was a masterstroke as it looked posh and modern. Sister Santa's fur is just wrong.
It was never going to be easy, being the ex of the best man (only the groom's exes had an odder role). Ms Davy was true to her va-va-voom roots with a clingy two-piece, but wouldn't it have been priceless if she'd turned up in something long and white?
Miriam Gonzalez Durantez
Mrs Nick Clegg. Words fail us. Almost. Just "wild west bordello chic". Perhaps Spanish-born Miriam felt that black net, leather gauntlets, a turban/floral combination hat and silver material that gave her VPL would make her stand out from the politico wives crowd. And in this, she succeeded.
South Korea ferry: Vice principal rescued from sinking ship found hanged
Overheard in Waitrose: documenting the chatter in 'Britain's poshest supermarket'
Oscar Pistorius trial: The case against Oscar Pistorius – and why the prosecution claims his story doesn't add up
Peaches Geldof funeral: Private ceremony to be held at same place as her mother Paula Yates on Easter Monday
Shropshire criminals ‘using unmanned drones and infrared cameras to find illegal cannabis farms’ – and then steal from the growers
The food poverty scandal that shames Britain: Nearly 1m people rely on handouts to eat – and benefit reforms may be to blame
US Navy christens huge $3 billion destroyer ship USS Zumwalt that appears as a fishing boat on enemy radar
Scottish independence: It is the English who should be on their knees, begging the Scots to vote ‘No’
Nigel Farage fatigue? Half of voters ‘immune’ to Ukip’s appeal
Nigel Farage on Have I Got News For You: Ukip leader ridiculed over expenses and party 'fruitcakes'
Nigel Farage: I’m taking on the status quo, and the Establishment’s fighting back
- 1 Are you turning into your dad? The top ten signs you've embraced dad-ism revealed as survey says 38 is age men turn into their father
- 2 Overheard in Waitrose: documenting the chatter in 'Britain's poshest supermarket'
- 3 Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'
- 4 24 people applied for the 'world's toughest job', here are their interviews
- 5 Grace Dent on TV: Game of Thrones has jumped the shark
£150.00 per week: QA Apprenticeships: This company is a company that specializ...
£153.75 per week: QA Apprenticeships: This company is an innovative outsourcin...
£150.00 per week: QA Apprenticeships: This company has been providing on site ...
£150.00 per week: QA Apprenticeships: We've been supplying best of breed peopl...