Apocalypse snow: snowmen of the moment, and more icy fun

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

Nothing invokes British silliness like a few days of snowy weather. Here we award the weekend's snowpeople a five-carrot ranking and defrost the best of the rest of the icy fun

You couldn't make it up! It's 'elf 'n' safety gone mad. A dry ski slope in Shropshire forced to close because of the wrong type of snow. That is: actual snow. Managers at the Telford Snowboard and Ski Centre said on Friday that their 85m slope was skiable but that conditions on surrounding roads made it too dangerous to open. And so local skiers with a rare shot at actual snow rather than the horrid, skin-ripping bristles they're used to had no option but to ski on open roads in Bristol or headlong into snowmen in parks (you know who you were).

Taking kitty by surprise

If you thought we humans were unprepared for the snow imagine being Fletcher. Somewhere in Britain, the kitten explored the several inches of white stuff carpeting his backyard in a clip posted online by his owner yesterday. Fletcher's not sure what's stranger – the weird flakes flicking his ears, the way his paws disappear with every step, or the cooing of the million people who watched his YouTube debut yesterday. Have a look yourself above at  ind.pn/snowcat.

A cold new ball game

Forget about building snowmen or making snow angels, surely the most spectacular thing to do is to create snow marbles. And looking at Twitter, plenty of people have been at it. Simply fill balloons with water and food colouring then place them outside until they have frozen. Carefully remove the balloons with a pair of scissors and you're left with giant, colourful marbles to decorate your garden with. Much more impressive than a mound of snow with a carrot shoved in it.

Choose your target

Football fans flinging snowballs at players is a concept almost as old as the game itself. This weekend's inductees into the snowball-chucking hall of fame came from Brentford and Blackburn.

Predictably, the Indian poultry moguls from Venky's who've made themselves incredibly unpopular in Lancashire were given a frosty (sorry) reception when arriving at Ewood Park – with owner Anuradha Desai's husband Jitendra copping an snowball in the face.

More surprising, were events at Griffin Park, west London, where Brentford manager Uwe Rosler had to take to the pitch to ask fans to stop pelting Tranmere goalie Owain Fon Williams with snowballs (and, according to the Daily Mail, lighters and coins).

The M4 tank commander

Snow makes people do funny things. Most are usually less dangerous than the Audi driver spotted by Twitter user Jonathan Ellis who'd decided that removing a porthole's worth of snow from the front window was adequate enough to drive through the most difficult of conditions on the M4. All hail the Tank Commander.

Revenge is best served frozen

Where an Englishman sees snow he sees balls, and victims. But in Leeds a group of teenagers got their comeuppance when they hurled their frozen missiles from a bridge at what looks like firemen inexplicably occupying a barge armed with giant pressure hoses.

You can guess the rest (or watch it).

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksAn introduction to the ground rules of British democracy
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Clinical Lead / RGN

£40000 - £42000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: IT Sales Consultant

£35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This IT support company has a n...

Recruitment Genius: Works Engineer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: A works engineer is required in a progressive ...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Hire Manager - Tool Hire

£21000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client is seeking someone w...

Day In a Page

Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

Who is Oliver Bonas?

It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

60 years of Scalextric

Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones
Theme parks continue to draw in thrill-seekers despite the risks - so why are we so addicted?

Why are we addicted to theme parks?

Now that Banksy has unveiled his own dystopian version, Christopher Beanland considers the ups and downs of our endless quest for amusement
Tourism in Iran: The country will soon be opening up again after years of isolation

Iran is opening up again to tourists

After years of isolation, Iran is reopening its embassies abroad. Soon, there'll be the chance for the adventurous to holiday there
10 best PS4 games

10 best PS4 games

Can’t wait for the new round of blockbusters due out this autumn? We played through last year’s offering
Transfer window: Ten things we learnt

Ten things we learnt from the transfer window

Record-breaking spending shows FFP restraint no longer applies
Migrant crisis: UN official Philippe Douste-Blazy reveals the harrowing sights he encountered among refugees arriving on Lampedusa

‘Can we really just turn away?’

Dead bodies, men drowning, women miscarrying – a senior UN figure on the horrors he has witnessed among migrants arriving on Lampedusa, and urges politicians not to underestimate our caring nature
Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger as Isis ravages centuries of history

Nine of Syria and Iraq's 10 world heritage sites are in danger...

... and not just because of Isis vandalism
Girl on a Plane: An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack

Girl on a Plane

An exclusive extract of the novelisation inspired by the 1970 Palestinian fighters hijack
Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

Why Frederick Forsyth's spying days could spell disaster for today's journalists

The author of 'The Day of the Jackal' has revealed he spied for MI6 while a foreign correspondent