Someone thought these Christmas jumpers were a good idea

For anyone wondering how not to get a Christmas bonus this year

Click to follow

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we are inundated by 'what to wear' style guides instructing us on anything from clothes to shoes to hairstyles for the annual office party.

What we lack, however, is a guide to 'what you definitely shouldn’t wear'. Until now.

The 'Naughty Festive Jumpers' range has come into play, courtesy of one of the largest online fancy dress suppliers in the UK, proudly hailing the Promiscuous office worker Christmas jumper launch.

Hoping to miss out on that Christmas bonus? Why not throw on the 'Who Do I Sleep With To Get A Promotion?' jumper?

For those seeking a bit of casual work-based sexism, the 'Mistle Blow' (clever) jumper bears the legend: 'A kiss would be nice! A blowjob would be better!' if anyone wants to lose any respect their colleagues had for them.


The description on the website reads: 'You don’t ask, you don’t get; so be a cheeky sod with our mistleblow jumper'.

Targeted at 'the office worker who doesn’t want to adhere to the status quo of holly and St Nic knits' this Christmas Jumper Day (12 December), the company selling the range claims to be tongue-in-cheek.


Male employees could choose the 'Office Slut' sweater in Christmas colours, perhaps to remind women simultaneously of double standards, office sexism and unequal pay in a fun, festive manner.

The 'Bad Santa' jumper features the text: 'What? The work experience girl was only 18!' around a worried looking Santa, and claims to be 'a light-hearted take on Christmas party faux pas'.

Enough said.