You can now ship your enemies a bag of dicks for them to eat

A new product in the juvenile shipping market

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The Independent Online

Following the wild success of Ship Your Enemies Glitter, an enterprising individual has set up a website offering customers  the chance to anonymously ship anyone a bag of edible dicks.

"In only a few minutes you can send a literal Bag of Dicks to that special asshole in your life," the Dicks By Mail website reads.

"We have a long history of sending dicks to people. Starting in middle school with those folded notes, that unfold to a big veiny c*ck. Moving to texting '8===D' to random people in high school all the way to snapchatting below the belt pics to ladies from the bar/church. But now it's on to bigger and better things; now it's on to Dicks by Mail.

The sweets enemies will receive in the post

Once $15 shipping is paid and the order is processed, an anonymous package will be sent to your target containing 2 things - A 5oz bag of gummy candy penises and a note exclaiming 'EAT A BAG OF DICKS'.

"What are you waiting for? send a bag of dicks today!" the founder concludes.

The site has been inundated with orders this morning and they'll surely be bought out for millions by lunchtime.