A role in the mud : FLAT EARTH

IN AN ever-evolving quest for the proper role of women in the military, the Israelis recently court-martialled a female soldier after muddy photos of her appeared in newspapers. While soldiers are often shot in mud, she wasn't in a dirty uniform in a trench, picking up all manner of Gingrichian infections. She was on the beach of a Dead Sea hotel, holding an assault rifle and clad in little more than the mud.

"Orders state that provocative photos in which women troops pose while only partially uniformed and/or bearing weapons contrary to orders are an embarrassment that causes great damage to the image of both women and the army, and the army intends to treatthis with all severity," the army barked.

Indeed. Colonel Hacohen should take her gun, collect Newt and head for Never Never Land, in search of giraffes.