Woman quits dating website OkCupid after 'creepy' 500-word message from stranger

Maggie Serota received the rambling message from a man in Sweden

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The Independent US

A woman who received a creepy 500-word message has quit the online dating website he used to contact her.

Maggie Serota, from New York, deactivated her OkCupid account after receiving the unwanted attention from a stranger in Sweden.

The freelance writer said the man had seen her Twitter profile – which has more than 8,000 followers – and then Googled her extensively and found her dating profile from tweets she had written about OkCupid.

Since posting the man’s messages on her Twitter and Facebook pages, she has contacted him, calling him a “creep”, and he has since been removed from the dating website, according to Mic.

Ms Serota tweeted: “I just received a 500-word OkCupid message with no less than three back-handed compliments.

“And the admission that the person did some deep-Googling on me and searched OkC to find me.

“This might be the message that makes me shut down my account.”

She added: “Apparently finding a normal dude to date is just too much to ask.”

In his detailed message to Ms Serota, the amorous writer said he was intrigued by her “wit, eclectic tweets, sensibility and cats” and that her tweets about OkCupid were “fun and poignant and eye opening”.

“Googling was necessary and so easy… Google images had me again more smitten with your image than writing,” he wrote. 

Before adding: “I like you and not just in photographic form.”

But, he concluded that the pair were not a match made in heaven - not just because they were based in different locations, but as she was “too urban”, while he was “too outdoorsy”.

He continued: “But the real reason it would never work is your terrible and terribly unevolved taste in music! At least we’ve had Joy Division, Hal Hartley starring Donovan edible food and Oscar the scrawny friendly cat in common. 

“Sorry for rambling on, really I’m just feeling lonely. Succinctness in writing not a strength.”

Since replying to the man, Ms Serota has received another message from him – which she dubbed a “non-apology”.

In the second message, the man said: “Yes, I’m the ‘creep’ that caused you grief yesterday.

“I completely failed to see the worst case, that you might miss the humour and reasonably interpret it as an insult. 

“So, sorry for having clumsily and involuntarily insulted you! The message was confusing and dense, I should have considered more carefully and edited before sending.

“It bothers me that I gave you a weird and distorted impression of myself, it bothers me that I might have been the nail in the online-dating-frustrations coffin for you.”

He added: “Am I creep? Not for me to decide, but not my own self-image or a feedback I’ve ever had before.”

He wrote that if Ms Serota wished to keep her dating profile anonymous, she should not refer to it on social media.

The man signed-off by wishing her “good luck in finding a normal guy to date”.

Since posting the man’s messages online, Ms Serota told Mic that she has been contacted by women who have had similar experiences.

“Men have a thing where if they think or feel something, then that automatically entitles them to just say it to whoever,” she told the website.

Earlier this month, Laura Nowak received a stream of sexist messages after adding the description “feminist” to her profile on Tinder.

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