Afghan leader's brother plans FA Cup banquet if Chelsea win

(Getty Images)

Kandahar, where men are men and sheep are scared – especially if Chelsea win the FA Cup today.

Ahmed Wali Karzai, a warlord, the brother of the Afghan President and a Chelsea fan to boot, has promised the "mother of all feasts" if the London team succeed at Wembley.

The support for the Blues from the Afghan frontline was revealed by Major-General Nick Carter, the British commander of 70,000 Nato troops, when replying to accusations that Mr Karzai was a drug trafficker with a private army who ran Kandahar in the manner of a Mafia don while still being in the CIA payroll.

"He is much maligned," said Maj-Gen Carter. "He tells me he would far rather be watching Chelsea win the double [the Premier League and the FA Cup] than wasting time trying to settle disputes at his house in south-western Kandahar city."

Acquaintances of Mr Karzai say that, unlike some Liverpool or Manchester United fans abroad, the President's brother does have a detailed knowledge of English football. He would have been a regular attendee of Premiership matches were it not for the worry that jealous rival fans might seek an Interpol warrant for his arrest.

Mr Karzai has strenuously denied that he is anything but a dedicated public servant and claims he has done many good works for the people of Kandahar.

This evening's banquet, should John Terry lift the trophy at Wembley, will be held at the strongman's fortified house in Kandahar, at the end of a sealed-off street with armed guards manning a checkpoint with spiked barriers to stop car bombs.

In accordance with the Pashtunwali code, the President's brother would slaughter the first sheep himself and the poorest of the neighbourhood would get the initial helpings after they have been allowed into the walled compound following a thorough search by his guards. Public occasions in the region have often experienced Taliban attack and Ahmed Wali was believed to have been one of the intended targets when the insurgents bombed a dogfight extravaganza in Kandahar city three years ago, killing 70 people.

Mr Karzai's love of football and Chelsea has begun relatively recently. He spent the years of exile from his homeland (while the Taliban ruled) running an Afghan restaurant in the US, but he never became enamoured with American sports.

The national football side of Mr Karzai's country reached the finals of the Asian Games this year after beating Pakistan, Sri Lanka and India, whose teams enjoy vastly more resources. However the Afghans have also been on the receiving end of an 0-11 loss to Turkmenistan and 1-6 to Sierra Leone.

Osama bin Laden is reported to have been an Arsenal fan in the 1990s when he was living in London and also frequently visited the Arsenal club shop to buy souvenirs for his extended family. Bin Laden spent time on the Highbury terraces in the early to mid-90s, and, some security analysts suggest, it may have been the soul-destroying negativity of George Graham's side which played a part in driving him to abandoning his life as the Westernised scion of a billionaire family to go off to the caves of Afghanistan and declare jihad on the West.

The al-Qa'ida leader is among 'A-List' celebrity Gooners who supposedly include Fidel Castro, Robert Maxwell and the late Queen Mother.

All of them, one presumes, know a bit more about football than one of Aston Villa's few celebrity fans, the Hollywood actor Tom Hanks, who gushed: "I am big on Aston Villa. I mean the name is just so sweet, it sounds like a lovely spa."