Flat Earth: Law and the ass

THEY were caught lugging guns and drugs across the border. But Brigitte Bardot says they are innocent, and deserve good treatment - such as some hay and a nice clean stable.

People who smuggle drugs are known in the trade as "mules", presumably because they are not too bright, but in this case they were the real thing. Albanian smugglers, it seems, load automatic weapons and hashish on the beasts, point them in the direction of Greece and whack them on the rump. They watch in safety from the mountains as the mule train crosses over, but sometimes the police are also watching: recently they intercepted 14 of the animals, prompting La Bardot to get involved.

Her animal rights organisation called on the Greek authorities to "protect" the mules, and "find a favourable solution for the 14 innocent four-legged animals". The Greeks replied that the mules were "fed, watered and repatriated" - not an answer that is likely to satisfy the former sexpot. She has been in trouble with the French courts more than once for claiming that Muslims, such as the Albanians, are cruel to animals.