Simon Carr: Labour's campaign may end in their coming third
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He's always having to make "the speech of his life". He never does but he's always back for another go. Then he's given "until Christmas" by his enemies but he reappears in the New Year being indomitable. Face like dog food but dressed and ready to "meet and master" the challenges of staying in office. Before he stood up today his Government was polling below the Liberals. Maybe I will be rewarded for having dared to dream the impossible dream.
I think lefties would have liked the speech, especially on television. You could have taken two tea-breaks. We had to do with standing ovations to stretch our legs.
It was long, again. He's always long. It kills him because his point gets lost. It's his father's fault. Brown never escapes the pulpit oratory he grew up with. Old fashioned preaching bellows a series of fantastic assertions that he takes no trouble to explain. If you don't believe them already they strike you as silly.
But they liked it in the hall, it has to be said. They were believers. It made them feel good about being fighting collectivists. We had a whooper in front of us. She had a hoot that went in one ear and came out the other like a javelin. Yes, I suffer, but I don't complain. It's service, you see. I sketch to serve.
Gordon ranged over the £600bn he spends every year and pulled out some examples where people had benefited. Hoot, hoot! Minimum wage. Waiting lists. School buildings. Scrapping that vile tory plan for ID cards. Yes, real achievements.
But that's enough of that. Pop singer Bono said to camera: "Gordon Brown is what makes Britain great." The man's an idiot!
Sarah Brown caused several diabetic episodes in the hall with her matrimonial endorsements. I could take "my husband, my hero" but when she thanked voters "for welcoming us into the heart of your communities" there was a dangerous moment with the late lunch. And when she said Gordon went to bed and got up in the morning thinking of the country and "always, always putting you first" then I knew I shouldn't have risked the second sundae. And if he does think of the country all the time why is she so sure they'll "be together for all times"? Make sure you have emergency supplies of insulin if you watch the replay.
So intense, so gentle, he asks so many questions! "That's why I love him as much as I do." She's going, Captain, I canna hold her!
Gordon. If you like the sort of things he does, you'll forgive him the oratorical defects. Me, I get short of breath at defects that stem from his personality.
His sectarian isolation. His view of Conservatives is pathological. He will "reject every piece of conservative advice." Why? "They are consistently wrong all the time?" Wot, always?
So he has to justify his psychotic view and that means saying tories will take active and unhealthy pleasure in cutting funding for schools and hospitals. It aint true.
And then to dramatise his rectitude he's going to pass a law to make it illegal not to halve the deficit in four years. But only because he knows he won't be in power to be arrested when it doesn't happen.
Gordon believes that "measures, not men" are the important thing. Napoleon believed that in war "moral qualities" (i.e. Men) outweighed "materiel" (i.e. Measures) by three to one. If Napoleon is right, Gordon is suffering under a massive misapprehension and a fatal election strategy of his own devising.
It may yet happen; Labour's Go Fourth campaign may end in their coming third.
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Comments
Poor old 'hero' he is so confused these days - but Grima Wormandelson is always there to help him!
Sarah is bit more honest. She claims when he do her, he is doing the country. Look at the mess!
Simon Carr, you're a hardworking fellow and your efforts are not in vain !
Keep going !
QUOTE
The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke.
In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent.
UNQUOTE
He hates and hates and hates.
He has degraded every aspect of society because he was only concerned about doing his political opponents down.
I do not think he ever genuinely wished to improve the lives of ordinary people.
He epitaph will be that he thought only of his own interests.
What an evil man.
I thought of Lord Acton today.
Brown may not have absolute power, but he is deluded enough to believe he has.
Power to conjur up endless torrents of cash to spend on a long list of dreams.
Brown's doctor should change his pills.
I am not defending Brown, I am saying that we are gullible creatures who believe that, just because we can vent in our websites and blogs, we are free. Labour and the Tories is the story of continuity in policy. They are, ultimately, in the same pockets. It's the same everywhere. And don't bother coming back with 3rd world examples. Just because something is not as bad as something else, it does not make it good. We lack the maturity for true democracy and what we get instead is what we deserve.
Clearly whoever writes his speeches thought it was important to embed those words as many times as possible.
We're all supposed to want "choice" I suppose.
I don't want to have to choose between Labour, Liberal Dem, and Tory. I want to choose between left and right, and at the moment all I can see is ...right.
When will politicians realise what a laughing stock they make of themselves when they artificially pepper speeches with "key words" in the hopes that these, rather than intelligent, naturally discoursing human beings will do the talking?