The Sketch: By jingo, 2012 is the year of true-blue bulldog spirit!
Simon Carr
The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke. In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent, and was a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand from 1992 to 1994. His working principle is "Indignation keeps us young."
Thursday 19 January 2012
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It's quite a Tory year coming up – what with the Queen's Jubilee, Boris's victory in the mayoral elections, Lord Coe's Olympics, the anniversary of the Falklands. Cameron seems to have lifted himself up an energy level to meet it. He's fizzing. He sometimes goes off in the wrong direction but his blast-area has doubled in size since the Opposition collapse.
Andrew Rosindell – Tory patriot, rumoured by leftish treason monkeys to have a bulldog tattooed under his hair – asked him: "Will he remind Argentina that it lost the Falklands War?"
In truth we can barely afford to send Argentina the message on a postcard but the Prime Minister insisted we had the ships, we had the men and by jingo we had the money too. He phrased it a little more discreetly than that. He's had his war but there's nothing to say he can't have another. It is the mark of a modern premiership.
Cleverly he suggested it would be a war against Argentine colonialism. Let no one say the PM lacks audacity.
The Leader of the Opposition brought his own particular brand of steadfastness to PMQs. He does deserve some sort of medal. The pasting he's taken has been prodigious yet he keeps coming up to the mark (in the bare-knuckle boxing sense). But his hands were shaking slightly at the despatch box yesterday and it would be a shame if his particular quality of courage were to be overdrawn.
Perhaps he can take heart that the bashing, the bullying has peaked. Without wanting to commit a professional betrayal, it is possible the tormenting has gone too far. If that is the case there'll be a moment when a new mood comes out of nowhere. He will have survived the sort of bloody initiation that some leaders suffer – and at that point he'll have 25 seconds to say what he really wants to say. It's a simple argument he has to make, when it's pitched the right way. I've heard it done myself. It works perfectly well. But – well, let's not go back to the buts.
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