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Immigration fiasco at the Home Office – it's one of those typesetters' cliches like "EU deal unravels as markets understand it". The current fiasco probably has a little life left in it, but for connoisseurs it lacks the scope of the famous series some years ago involving the downfall of three ministers with one-armed Romanian roofers being allowed in and foreign murderers, rapists and terrorists being allowed out. World-class scandals they were, with a minister hanging on to her position so tightly that parts of her hand are still attached to the gratis car.
Simon Carr is impressed – and depressed – by UK Youth Parliament
King leafed through the Financial Services Bill, marvelling at MPs’ ability to understand it
When an attractive young Russian finds an ageing Liberal Democrat simply irresistible, the alarm bells should be deafening. Simon Carr reports
Meryl Streep's down there." "Meryl Streep? What, literally? Where?"
What had she got on her head? We were in the lobby of the House of Lords for the swearing-in of the new peers. Julian Fellowes was one of them. The writer. The actor. The author of Snobs and Downton Abbey.
Ok, he's stopped touching his face. That's an improvement, it shows progress. At this rate he'll be ready to be prime minister when Sam Miliband comes of age (and pips his father to the vote while uncle David laughs).
Tory vignettes from PMQs. Iain Duncan Smith stood at the bar masticating wildly. I hope he was masticating, as the whole lower part of the face was rotating in two different planes and his eyes were shining with some secret knowledge. If I said there was a touch of the Desmond Swayne about him I hope you won't think I'm being rude about Desmond Swayne.
Will they manage the 40 per cent cuts they're talking about? They'll end up with half what they aim for
Thus yesterday, to the House of Lords to see the butt-crack, the builder's bum of the Labour Party, being dignified, elevated, made noble. We all sucked our teeth and said, "Ooh! Big job, that." The ceremony only lasts a few minutes – how could it be long enough, even for the preparatory cleaning?
Speakers always have a moment when they have to impose their will on the mob
In the dealings of the Axeman and the Taxman we also need a Paxman – someone to tell us in fact what we remember we think we were told.
There is no word for "grandeur" in English. That's what we're up against over here. They have Versailles, we have Buckingham Palace. They have the Louvre, we have the National Gallery. They have the Elysée Palace, we have Downing Street. They have Christine Lagarde, we have (to cheat a bit) Vince Cable.
There they all were, a Chamber full of the latest Commons – among their number 232 new ones. Row upon row of them, with their plans, schemes, values and principles. They'd come from all over Britain to Westminster to help make the world a better place.