Almanack: Rob Roy of The Rovers

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The Independent Online
SCOTTISH Football magazine has deviated from its lively tabloid style to introduce a Boy's Own-style fictional feature: Rob Roy of The Rovers. The red-haired, six-foot-seven striker-in-the-making is discovered by the Mullchester Rovers manager in a glen, playing keepy- uppy with a rock. He joins a training session and impresses all except the resident striker, the expensive Sassenach Gary Vinegar. The future looks rosy for Rob: but will the tabloids misinterpret his relationship with his closest companion, Lambie? For Lambie is a sheep, 'not just any sheep, but a grey sheep, with a yellow, black and red scarf round his neck and a cigar poking out of his mouth . . .' Worryingly, next month's instalment is called 'Fleece Release Me.'