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Kevin Pietersen autobiography: How the dust is settling for the stars of KP's blistering book...

There are enough main players in Pietersen’s tome to assemble a cricket team; albeit a dysfunctional one. After a week of madness Stephen Brenkley assesses who’s been stumped and who’s ducked the bouncers

Stephen Brenkley
Friday 10 October 2014 19:57 BST
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Kevin Pietersen's autobiography has been the focus of this week's sporting news agenda
Kevin Pietersen's autobiography has been the focus of this week's sporting news agenda

Captain and team director

Kevin Pietersen

He has brilliantly orchestrated a self-righteous campaign of malice and accusation which betrays a man both at ease with himself and in torment – a contradiction which embodies the book. Having chosen his targets he keeps firing at them for more than 300 pages, relentless and implacable. This is an unprecedented sporting memoir, propelled by an astounding publicity campaign.

With the sneering social-network support of his cheerleader, Piers Morgan, the television presenter, and almost complete silence from those he has traduced, Pietersen has ambushed the media agenda. The charm offensive, a little too unctuous to be convincing, has been as forthright as his opinions.

Opinions on the man himself will become more entrenched on both sides. Pietersen seethes with vitriol as brutal as his batting at its most destructive. The lack of perspective is almost (but not quite) as breathtaking as the character assassinations.

The unlikely openers

Andy Flower

An estimable coach and admirable man whose stoic silence in the face of repeated personal attacks – starting but not finishing with the book – speaks volumes. That he is earnest and stubborn in his principles should not be doubted but they are traits which should be lauded rather than reviled.

In the welter of wholly discomfiting and unnecessary personal abuse, it has been too easily overlooked how successful England were under his tutelage. Too conveniently forgotten as well how important his role was in the re-assimilation of Pietersen to the ranks in 2009 and in his reintegration in 2012.

Andy Flower

As it happens, Flower, like Pietersen, was a considerable cricketer but, as this rancorous week has shown, he is the sort of man Pietersen could only dream of being.

Alastair Cook

Captain of England, a thoroughly good chap and accomplished batsman (who needs to regain his form, but that is another story). Pietersen affects to like him while being vaguely disdainful, a company man who “shakes my hand but who doesn’t want to look at me” on the fateful day of the dismissal last February.

Alastair Cook

After the summer he has just gone through, his every move as captain pored over and dissected, Cook could have done without this autumn appendix. Pietersen depicts him as weak and tactically naive, while reassuring his readers that Cook has his full support on the ill-fated expedition to Australia. But Cook has 8,423 Test runs, which bespeaks prowess. He has to deal with the fall-out from this.

The unlikely middle order

Matt Prior

Wicketkeeper and Big Cheese. The nickname with which Pietersen derides him throughout was actually given when Prior was a bright schoolboy cricketer.

Matt Prior and Kevin Pietersen together in 2011

His reputation will not recover easily from this mauling. Amid the stream of vilification it may be the case that Cheese could be a bit full of himself and that the England dressing room now is better off without him. But he was a prodigious wicketkeeper-batsman who knew all about the team ethic. Presumably, he will have his say one day about his accuser. It should be worth hearing.

Andrew Strauss

Try as he might have done, the author has failed to make any impression on Strauss’s standing as statesman and ambassador. Nor does he come close to satisfactorily explaining the BlackBerry messages about Strauss that he sent to South African opponents in 2012. Funny how other email and texts exchanges – such as with Prior and Rahul Dravid – are reproduced in full but the Strauss stuff, which may or may not have been fatally incriminating, has disappeared into the ether.

Andrew Strauss (left) with Pietersen

Strauss’s sane intervention into the week’s proceedings, that the England team may suffer as a result, merely enhances his standing. Pietersen apologises in the book but you really can understand why Strauss called him an “absolute cunt” earlier this year.

Ian Bell

Some people are beyond criticism because they are simply so well-adjusted and accepting of the foibles of others. Bell is one such and Pietersen actually indicates that he might have more to say for himself than he is often given credit for. Whether or not having Pietersen’s support is necessarily a good thing, it invites the idea that Bell might one day still captain England.

Paul Collingwood

The brevity of his appearance is telling. He is described as “my greatest batting partner” but receives only fleeting mention, thus confirming that Pietersen has no wish to reflect on the joy of his career.

Collingwood was at a sponsor’s function the other night and said: “I don’t really understand all of this to be honest. The last seven years has been fantastic for English cricket. KP has done a lot for English cricket but also English cricket has done a lot for KP.

Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood in high spirits

“This is one man’s opinion against everyone else’s. This was one of the most successful teams in English history – three Ashes wins, No 1 Test status, a World T20 Cup, a series win in India. If you think the England dressing room was as divided as he says, there’s no fucking chance we’d have won any of those things, let me tell you.” Quite.

The horrible bowlers

Graeme Swann

The recurring theme of KP is that the England dressing room was split with the bowlers (and Prior) running a constant campaign of bullying. Swann does not come out of it well and particular scorn is reserved for his retirement in Australia when the Ashes were lost but the series was still continuing.

Graeme Swann

There is undoubtedly a point here and Swann should have stayed. As for the bullying, Swann, a boulevardier with edge beyond Pietersen’s ken, often admitted to being horrible to fielders when they made mistakes off his bowling. He will survive with cheeky chappy persona intact.

Stuart Broad

His part in the infamous fake Twitter account @kpgenius which eventually so upset our hero has never been conclusively explained, whatever the England and Wales Cricket Board says. Like the other centrally contracted players, his silence this week has been resolute.

Stuart Broad

If Pietersen does not like him – and he doesn’t and it is entirely reciprocated – he also recognises his worth. When he was asked to pick next year’s Ashes team by an audience member at a question-and-answer session in Manchester on Wednesday, Broad was an automatic choice.

Jimmy Anderson

Anderson comes across as being influenced by others more than standing up for what he believes. Pietersen might have misread his man and there is no mention of the fact that when Anderson had his 30th birthday party last year the only regular England team member not present was Pietersen.

The tail-end charlie

Paul Downton

The man who sacked KP. Pietersen showed his colours early in the piece. Downton played 30 Test matches for England, appeared in an Ashes-winning side (in which he claimed 20 victims as wicketkeeper) 20 years before Pietersen and had a successful career in the City before returning to cricket. Pietersen says: “I had to Google him to discover his background.” It has more than a whiff of risible condescension.

England managing director Paul Downton

Downton in his role as managing director of the ECB took a decision that was bold in any terms and certainly for what he saw as the good of English cricket. In doing so he made a foe of Pietersen and his acolytes for good. He may have had the odd sleepless night, he may do well to see this through, but his conviction should not be underestimated.

The 12th man

Giles Clarke

His uneasy, complicated relationship with Pietersen is not fully discussed. Clarke, the chairman of the ECB, it was who, rather pompously, used the term “reintegration” when Pietersen returned to the side after being dropped in late 2012.

Not everybody’s cup of tea, he has undoubted drive and managerial skill but at some point this week he needed to speak out.

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