Football: Clowns prefer Craven Cottage to Big Top

The football at Fulham has been described as fallabout stuff, but not this season. The club are top of the Third Division and plan to stay with the help of a visit to the Big Top.

Zippo's Circus has pitched up at nearby Eel Brook Common and the Fulham manager/ringmaster Micky Adams is taking his players along to learn the subtleties of perfect balance from the show's acrobatic Mongolian Warriors, while the clowns will show how to fall without getting injured.

Adams and his troupe will be rolling up on Tuesday for a laugh-a-minute training session with a serious intent. "We are always open to new ideas and keeping up morale. Jumping to head the ball is a precise skill and these acrobats can jump as high as anything I've ever seen," the manager said.

The clowns' knowhow will be of particular benefit in the rough and tumble of the League's lowest division. "They can't just throw themselves around and not get hurt without learning how to fall and roll properly," Martin Burton, Zippo's owner, said.

Fulham take their skills to ninth-placed Hull City today, but are eager for a spot of buccket-throwing and learning how to drive a car while the doors fall off.

"The boys are really loking forward to it," Adams said. "and are keen to prove that they are fitter then the clowns".

Fitter maybe, but as accurate with a custard pie? Sticking to football would seem the best idea.