The Last Word: Ciao Pippo Inzaghi, you made offside an act of sensuality

 

Perhaps Italian men really are more comfortable with displays of emotion; or maybe someone had simply warned Rino Gattuso that Joe Jordan was waiting by the bike shed. One way or another, all those years scrupulously devoted to the cultivation of his image as some hirsute, snarling, tunnelling football nemesis – one who caused effete midfielders throughout Europe to wake up howling, their sheets torn and drenched in sweat – have finally been laid waste.

As one of several veterans making their final appearance for Milan last weekend, Gattuso led a crumple-faced marathon of keening and hugging. Luckily, a rather more characteristic farewell was reserved for the gleefully heterodox minority who grieve most of all – more even than Alessandro Nesta or, at Juventus the same day, the sainted Del Piero – the departure of Pippo Inzaghi.

Now 38, Inzaghi came off the bench to score the decisive goal against Novara, chesting a lob to tee up a booming, angled drive on the bounce. This last, bittersweet taste of the elixir prompted familiar delirium in the great man, this time reciprocated not merely by fans and comrades but also by opponents and officials. One of the Novara players embraced him warmly, while the referee shook his hand and even brushed his fingers through that luxuriant, glossy mane, apparently yet to yield a single grey hair.

Those outside Italy who cannot find it in their hearts to share such affection – and these evidently include Sir Alex Ferguson, who notoriously disparaged Inzaghi as "born offside", and Johan Cruyff, who says that he "can't actually play football at all" – should perhaps reconsider their prejudices in Munich tonight. On one side, they will see a team depicted as on the brink of senility; on the other, one of the most prolific scavengers in Europe. Yet Inzaghi, four years older than Didier Drogba, still hopes to extend his career somewhere; and while Mario Gomez certainly shares a propensity for popping up at the right place (usually about 18 inches from the line) at the right time, for now he has scored exactly half as many goals as Inzaghi in Europe.

In fact only Raul, with 77, has scored more. Two of Pippo's 70, of course, secured Milan's revenge over Liverpool in the 2007 Champions League final. As a starlet at Atalanta in 1997, Pippo was Capocannoniere with 24 goals, at least one apiece against every team in the league. For clubs and country, he has ended up with 313 in all. But if all this accumulation, this bottom line, represents some dazing apotheosis of his training as an accountant, it is its maddening genesis that puts Pippo beyond price.

For this is no classic No 9. He is lanky and brittle. Hopeless from long range, little better in the air, and perfectly capable of missing a sitter. After the Athens final, the match-winner indulged in a delightful self-parody for the fans, deliberately stabbing the ball past an empty net from six yards. His want of technique in training has stupefied team-mates. Yet Ferguson's disdain is clumsier than the offence he perceived.

For here is a player who discovers a nearly orgiastic exultation in his calling. He is so consumed by desire that its satisfaction is immanent: it does not matter how much money he has in the bank, how many goals his team has already scored, how easy a chance he could instead set up for a team-mate. Pippo has sometimes had to apologise to opponents infuriated by his euphoria after scoring the goal that completes a rout. He speaks of a helpless addiction, of the craving for some "mystical" climax.

Time and again, the striker hailed by David Beckham as "the best pure finisher I've seen since Gary Lineker" spirits into the blindside at the front of the six-yard box. Inzaghi, outraged by Beckham's old boss at United, actually takes great pride in his torment of linesmen. It is all about morale, about only needing to time it right once. And really it's terribly sensual, the way he pushes his craving to the limit – this exquisite tension with the last line of defence – before breaking free for the rush of gratification.

Perhaps he can prolong the addiction. After a couple of very light seasons, he remains alert and agile. MLS is an obvious possibility. Beyond the break-up of a golden Milan side, however, Pippo increasingly seems like exotic driftwood on the tide of football. Progressive coaches seek dimensions in their forward lines beyond the purely predatory; yet conservatives, especially in this country, have long dismissed Pippo as puny, as somehow ridiculous. But he remains stubborn in his passion, pride, cunning and heart. There is no such thing as a 50-50 ball if Pippo is one of its claimants. On that basis, looking at the Azzurri squad for this summer, defenders all round Europe may well be relieved he has not been granted the perfect swansong.

This week Pippo bade farewell to Rossoneri fans. "We must part now, because that's the way life is," he wrote. "And because the time is right. You know as much yourselves." Maybe so. But some of us, far beyond that parish, can hardly bear to admit it.

Independent Comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
Caption competition
Caption competition
News in pictures
World news in pictures
Sport blogs

iBet: Back Spain to shut out Tahiti

The spread betting firms are very slow about pricing up this game and you can understand why. All th...

by Gareth Purnell

iBet: Look To The Lady In The Prince Of Wales

The Prince of Wales Stakes today is regarded by many as the No1 race of the Royal Ascot meeting and ...

by Gareth Purnell

iBet: Favourites have a good record in the Coventry stakes

Today’s St James Palace looks a cracker and there has been sustained money for Dawn Approach since t...

by Gareth Purnell

       
 
Babies behind bars: A Palestinian fertility doctor has become an unlikely hero by helping women conceive – even though their husbands are in jail

Babies behind bars

A Palestinian fertility doctor has become an unlikely hero by helping women conceive – even though their husbands are in jail
Sonic youth: The high-pitched sound alarm for under 25s

Sonic youth: The high-pitched sound alarm

Is Mosquito, the alarm only under-25s can hear, a blessing or a bane?
The art of living in small spaces: Architects are learning how to make less, more

The art of living in small spaces

Space in cities at a premium so architects are learning how to make less, more...
Special report: The story of Sir Mervyn King's reign at the Bank

The story of Sir Mervyn King's reign at the Bank

After four 'nice' years as Governor of Bank of England, things turned decisively nasty
Zombie nation: Our enduring fascination with a world full of death and destruction

Zombie nation: Our fascination with death and destruction

A new season of shows on Radio 4 is inspired by dark tales of future dystopias. Meanwhile, zombies are marauding in the multiplexes...
Martin Stephen: 'Ofsted says comprehensives are failing the most able but teaching bright children isn't rocket science'

'Teaching bright children isn't rocket science'

It doesn't take a selective system to nurture the best minds, says a former head of St Paul's boys' school.
The retail empires strike back: Can new technology lure us back to the high street?

Can technology lure us back to the high street?

The high street has been bruised and battered by online firms but in-store technology is helping to enliven the retail experience...
The 10 Best new smartphones

The 10 Best new smartphones

Photos, films, music, apps and browsing - the latest mobiles can do it all
Jenson Button: Downbeat driver cannot wait to put season behind him

Jenson Button: Downbeat driver cannot wait to put season behind him

McLaren man admits 'failed gamble' with car has left him pinning hopes on 2014 campaign
James Lawton: Firmer fist will be required to win Champions Trophy final battle with stouter foe

James Lawton

Firmer fist will be required to win Champions Trophy final battle with stouter foe
'To farm I have to rape the countryside. It’s got to be wrong': The true effect of the badger cull

The true effect of the badger cull

'To farm I have to rape the countryside. It’s got to be wrong'
Theatre review: Daniel Radcliffe gives an admirably honest performance in Michael Grandage's The Cripple of Inishmaan

First night: The Cripple of Inishmaan

Daniel Radcliffe gives an admirably honest performance in Michael Grandage's comedy
Girls Guides drop religious reference but pledge to self and the Queen

Guides drop religious reference but pledge to self and the Queen

After 103 years, organisation changes oath to welcome 'all girls, of all faiths, and none'
Steve Tongue: Joe Kinnear was one of the boys and a breath of fresh air... 21 years ago

Steve Tongue

Joe Kinnear was one of the boys and a breath of fresh air... 21 years ago
Chris Froome: Free from 'pain in neck' after Bradley Wiggins' exit

Chris Froome: Free from 'pain in neck' after Wiggins' exit

Sky's lead rider says he is in fantastic form for the Tour and happy pecking order debate is over