Smudger Smith: Another transfer window shuts, another bench to warm...
The Journeyman Pro
Saturday 01 September 2012
In a professional career spanning almost two decades, Simon "Smudger" Smith has played for over 67 clubs. The ultimate utility player, as his pace has diminished, he has reinvented himself time and again, from poacher to holding midfielder, centre-back to goalkeeper. Now that his website has been closed down, we have exclusive access to his weekly column.
A transfer between clubs changes your whole life. I cannot tell you how exciting it is to wake up in one city with no chance of getting into the team and go to sleep that night in another city entirely with no chance of getting into the team. My career is proof of the age-old adage that whenever God shuts a door, he opens a transfer window. It's a great way to get a stuttering career on track and I hope that happens to Dimitar Berbatov with his move to Fulham. I'll never forget when I wasn't getting starts and went to Craven Cottage for what turned out to be a dream move. I still wasn't getting into the team but the padded benches really are outstanding there.
I'd like to wish luck to all the players who have made big-money transfers. That's when you really find out who your friends are. When I joined Arsenal it was brilliant, as it turned out I had loads. My celebratory round that night cost me upwards of 10 grand and that tells you everything you need to know about my popularity. Great days.
More players are being signed off the back of video footage. I thought I would try to capitalise on this trend by posting my own clip to YouTube but it's only been seen 12 times and has eight dislikes. Perhaps my rendition of "Eternal Love" at Ashley Cole's wedding wasn't the best choice. Still, the "Cracking stuff!" from Arsène Wenger in the comments has to be a positive sign. Good to see Prince Harry try to get snapped up too, the photos of him defending a free-kick are quality.
I'd like to thank my agent. With all my transfers, he is the busiest man in football. Unfortunately, part of his hectic schedule is down to taking on other jobs due to the small amounts involved. As well as representing me, Randy is Marouane Fellaini's hairdresser, Robbie Savage's tanning consultant and Sir Alex Ferguson's gum provider. Cheers, mate.
Follow me on @smudgersmithpro
Latest in Sport
Frank Lampard was RIGHT not to celebrate Manchester City's equaliser against Chelsea
All Blacks Aaron Cruden misses New Zealand flight after drinking session, has brilliant excuse
Colombian women's cycling team kit that makes wearer appear naked is branded 'unacceptable' by UCI president
Five reasons why Louis van Gaal is a worse Manchester United manager than David Moyes
Sam Wallace: Louis Van Gaal struggled at start of Bayern’s Double-winning season, but United’s problems run deeper and this league is less forgiving
- 1 Rihanna 'nude pictures' claims emerge on 4Chan as hacking scandal continues
- 2 iOS 8 apps and features: eight iPhone settings you need to look at after you install the update
- 3 Kim Kardashian 'nude photos' leaked on 4chan weeks after Jennifer Lawrence scandal
- 4 'F*ck it, I quit': KTVA reporter Charlo Greene quits live on air in spectacular fashion
- 5 Scotland could still declare independence – even without referendum, says Alex Salmond
Scotland could still declare independence – even without referendum, says Alex Salmond
Scottish referendum results: Cross-party consensus collapses amid Tory-Labour spat on the 'English question'
Hilary Mantel 'should be investigated by police' over Margaret Thatcher assassination story, says Lord Bell
Scottish independence: David Cameron is becoming the 'George Bush of Britain'
Plebgate MP Andrew Mitchell called officer a 'little s**t', claim court documents 'exposing ex-Chief Whip's 'record of abusing police'
Archbishop of Canterbury admits doubts about existence of God