In a professional career spanning almost two decades, Simon "Smudger" Smith has played for over 67 clubs. The ultimate utility player, as his pace has diminished he has reinvented himself time and again, from poacher to holding midfielder, centre-back to goalkeeper.
This weekend saw another north London derby and I'm sorry to say that it was grimly predictable, with Arsenal beating Spurs 5-2 at the Emirates for the second season in a row. The knives are out for Adebayor, who lost his head completely. Incredibly, the Togolese striker forgot that he used to play for Arsenal and accidentally celebrated his opening goal. He clearly never recovered from the gaffe and saw red for a reckless tackle. On a related note, I had no idea that Gareth Bale used to play for Arsenal until I saw his emotionless response to pulling a goal back.
The age-old argument that footballing schedules are too hectic has reared its head again as Chelsea continue to embark on their mid-season break. It's been a brave decision by the Blues to take November off for the past few seasons when the break isn't recognised by the rest of the league and the games still count, but the Champions League win last season showed that it is a risk worth taking.
Paul Lambert, the Aston Villa manager, was clearly frustrated with the phantom handball that gave Man City a penalty at a crucial moment in their match but I must admit I have a soft spot for falsely attributed touches. Were it not for that, my career goals tally would be cut in half. To one.
After losing their bottom-of-the-table clash, the writing is on the wall at QPR for Mark Hughes. Clearly the fans are frustrated but the language in those toilets is unacceptable, though there is some great penmanship in some of the cartoons.
Stephen Fry said he was going to give an especially stellar performance in Twelfth Night following Norwich's great win over Man Utd. We saw with Adebayor how dangerous it is to be overly pumped up so I can only hope that he didn't lunge in two-footed on Trigger from Only Fools And Horses with the majority of the performance still to go. That could really ruin the play as a spectacle for the neutral.
Follow me on @smudgersmithpro