Smudger Smith: My 2020 vision is a beautiful new Macarena
The Journeyman Pro
Saturday 08 December 2012
In a professional career spanning two decades, Simon "Smudger" Smith has played for over 67 clubs. The ultimate utility player, as his pace has diminished he has reinvented himself time and again, from poacher to holding midfielder, centre-back to goalkeeper.
The big news from Uefa this week is that, much like "The Macarena" in the 1990s, the 2020 European Championship is going to be played all over Europe. Some say that, also like "The Macarena", it is probably going to be a poorly coordinated shambles. I like the idea, though, and think that, again like "The Macarena", it's going to be a lot of fun and will be a great chance for drunken Brits to get off with some girls from mainland Europe.
The Champions League group games drew to a close and, with some big sides like Real Madrid finishing second, teams will be anxious to avoid a difficult draw in the last 16. Manchester City and Chelsea went to extreme lengths to do so and I think their risky tactic may have backfired.
Chelsea parachute into the Europa League, which this week threw up a real "battle of the drinks", in which the wine of Bordeaux beat the brown ale of Newcastle. Presumably they will now face the winner of the Red Bulls of New York against Frozen Daiquiri FC.
Eyes will be glued to the big contest in Manchester this weekend. The winner is likely to be at the top come Christmas Day. Personally, I'm backing Jahmene to take the crown before the city welcomes the big derby tomorrow.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer called City United's "little brother" this week, which I thought was quite sweet. It's nice to think he sees a fraternal relationship between the two, with United doubtless putting an arm around City after their disappointing exit from Europe. I suppose we could call Carlos Tevez a hand-me-down. I just hope United don't resort to noogies and nipple-cripples come tomorrow.
Follow me on @smudgersmithpro
Latest in Sport
Pornhub: Cheeky Liverpool fan uploads Philippe Coutinho wonder-goal video to adult website
Liverpool injury news: Brendan Rodgers could be without up to seven players for Burnley game... as Jordon Ibe posts picture of knee brace
Arsenal shareholders Stan Kroenke, Alisher Usmanov and Farhad Moshiri appear on Forbes' rich list - with a combined net worth of £14.9bn
Watch the moment a basketball player reassures a small boy after a mass brawl erupted on court
Jon Stewart brings The Daily Show to WWE Raw as Seth Rollins pays the price for feud with TV presenter
- 1 Home Office says Nigerian asylum-seeker can’t be a lesbian as she’s got children
- 2 What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
- 3 Drugs Live cannabis trial: Hash is less harmful than any other drug, expert claims
- 4 Turkish Airlines flight TK 726 crash-lands on Nepal runway amid dense fog
- 5 Apple and Google users being spied on for a decade because of 'Freak' security flaw
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut
Durham Free School: 'Creationism taught at' free school facing closure
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
Ukraine crisis: Top Chinese diplomat backs Putin and says West should 'abandon zero-sum mentality'