The Highlight Reel: Brewing trouble

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The Independent Football

Never mind a, ahem, booze-up in a brewery, tournament chiefs couldn't organise the resistance to a bevy of pretty Dutch ladies. Sent by a beer manufacturer, 36 young women – wearing body-hugging dresses – titillated cameras during the game against Denmark on Monday in a marketing ambush. They were frogmarched away, but no further action was taken. Robbie Earle, thought to be the source of the tickets, was not so lucky: the pundit has been sacked by ITV.

More spin than a Jabulani

North Korea coach Kim Jong-hun was asked why Kim Myong-won is listed as a goalkeeper. Real reason: the player, a striker at club side Amrokgang, had to have his designation changed because Jong-hun named only two goalkeepers in his squad instead of the designated three. Official line from North Korea: "He really is a goalkeeper but he is very fast so we switched him to a striker, but we felt for this World Cup he wanted to be a goalkeeper again, so that is what we did for him." Yes, and Capello will be playing in the seniors at Wimbledon if England don't make it through the group stage.

Vuvuzelas swamp the UK

After yesterday's endorsement of the horns, tournament organisers saying they represent "the sound of Africa", and an FA spokesman leaving open the possibility of their coming to the Premier League, UK supermarkets report booming sales. So far from being a distant prospect, the vuvuzelas are already here. The BBC had 545 complaints by yesterday morning from viewers who couldn't hear the commentary.

Melo puts boot into new ball

The Brazilian midfielder Felipe Melo was struggling to convey the enormity of his hatred for the new balls being used in games. "The ball is horrible, it's hard to believe that such a ball will be used in a World Cup," he said. Then he worked out how much he really hated it. "The other ball is like a nagging woman: you kick her and she's still there. This one is like a spoiled little rich kid, who doesn't want to be kicked in any way." Isn't this one for the Cape Town Police Department? Or infirmary?

Blue Sky thinking

Viewers without Sky won't be able to watch half of England's bid to reach the Euro 2012 tournament in Poland and Ukraine, because the satellite broadcaster has won rights to the away games. Sky will broadcast away matches in the group stages for Wales, the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland too. Presumably England's games will actually be of some interest to fans, now that without Steve McClaren as manager they have a chance of qualifying.

Monkey business

England fans used to smash up bars and rampage through foreign capitals. Now they're being told off for... feeding monkeys. Some of our little primate friends have been caught stealing from outdoor breakfast tables (the monkeys, that is, not the fans). Tourists in Sun City, a resort near England's base camp in North West Province, have been robbed of fruit and cake during morning buffets. Now a 500 rand fine is being imposed. The comic value was lost, however, on Eddie, a hotel worker. "I'm not here to shoot the monkeys... I only use the gun on the baboon". And how's this for a mixed metaphor: "Baboons are a different kettle of fish". Talk about lost in translation.