José Mourinho is being tipped to return to Chelsea. Here's why we've missed the Special One...
The subterfuge: supposedly hiding in a dirty laundry basket in order to circumvent a UEFA ban preventing him from entering Chelsea's dressing room.
The dog: José was cautioned by police in 2007 for refusing to allow his dog, which is called Gullit, to go into quarantine.
The attitude: "Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one."
The (other) attitude: sitting on the bench with his kids as his Porto players celebrated winning the 2004 European Cup.
The quotes: "It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs – no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs." (On a Chelsea injury crisis.)
The petulance: After poking Barcelona coach Tito Vilanova in the eye, Mourinho said he did not know who "Pito" Vilanova was. NB: a Pito, or "whistle" is Spanish slang for "penis".