Terrible news for motorsport fans in Australia. Spectators at the prestigious Bathurst 1,000 touring car race in New South Wales have been limited to 24 cans of beer each after drunken behaviour marred previous events. Wine-drinkers are only allowed four litres. That's more than five bottles. And please, don't drive. Meanwhile in Minnesota, the aptly named Jerry Johncock, 81, may have his title taken away after winning the 80-84 age division of the Twin Cities Marathon because he accepted a catheter from a spectator (perhaps an Aussie) after 21 miles to help him finish the race. What are the chances of finding such a helpful supporter? But judges think he was taking the piss.
Years since Sporting Falmer FC from Brighton last won a match. They lost 9-1 to a team of Italians whose star player was 69 years old. And they haven't scored for over a year. They're all now in their forties, so will they ever win again?
Very cross dressers of the week
When they say Mixed Martial Arts, it's not supposed to be mixed sexes, or just mixed up, despite the claim that Katie Price's beau, cage fighter Alex Reid, likes to wear women's clothes and be called Roxanne, or the mayhem when two MMA fighters dressed in drag were attacked in Cardiff. But the new rage may stem from 50 years ago. Rena Kanokogi was stripped of her gold medal in New York State's YMCA judo championships in 1959 when judges realised she was a woman competing in a men's event. The 74-year-old has just had her medal reinstated. Now Meridian High School's boys' wrestling team in Idaho have been told to stop wearing bikinis for a fund-raising carwash. The silly suds.
Good week for
Sir Matt Busby, former Manchester United manager included in series of stamps to honour "Eminent Britons"... first-class umpires, who successfully lobbied for five extra minutes during the break between innings in next year's 40-over competition... and surfers at Muizenberg in Cape Town, who broke the world record with 105 riding the same wave, beating last year's 100 in Brazil.
Bad week for
Logan Campbell, New Zealand taekwondo fighter who opened a brothel to fund London 2012 campaign, told by NZ Olympic Committee not to use the Games for publicity or be sued... Greg Norman and Chris Evert, split after 15 months of marriage... and Master Baiters netball team from the whitebait fishing port of Greymouth, New Zealand, had to change name to Master Netters.
Offensive tactics of the week
After last week's salute to one-legged golfer Manuel de los Santos, there have been more remarkable feats by sportsmen with disabilities. Matt Bezold, a 25-year-old Mixed Martial Artist (but not a cross-dresser, as far as we know), who had his left leg amputed as a child, has won his first bout at a Rage in the Cage event in Phoenix, Arizona. And Kevin Lane, who was born without a left hand, won a scholarship to Manhattan College to play in basketball's prestigious NCAA League Division One. But a new craze for "dwarf bull-fighting" shows there's still some way to go in terms of public perception. They use plastic swords and calves, so no one gets hurt. Apart from their feelings.