Squeaky bum time for...
Fans at Twenty20 finals day
It's meant to be perfect weather for ducks at the Rose Bowl today, (as in raining cats and dogs, not the sort of climate that leads to scoreless innings) which could lead to problems for Twenty20 finals day punters.
If both semis and the final aren't finished due to the gods then everyone has to come back tomorrow. Not so easy if you're booked on the 11.20pm to Waterloo. There are not exactly hotels, B&Bs or hostels in abundance around Hampshire's ground – it's in the sticks. Imagine 25,000 intoxicated cricket fans mooching round the countryside trying to find a bed. Scary.
We applaud you wholeheartedly
Only Becks could grab all the back (and front) page headlines during an England international at Wembley when he was actually on the other side of the Atlantic (Stevie G may as well not have bothered banging in his wonderful double). It was a good effort by golden nuts, who was unceremoniously dumped by Fabio Capello in the week. With Fab firmly ensconced as Public Enemy No 1, Becks then climbs further up the moral high ground by saying he wouldn't accept playing in a special "We love you David" farewell match. He will win his place back or disappear quietly into the background. If ever Max Clifford needs some PR help, he should look no further.
And... stories you might have missed
Brazilian at odds with doc
Kaka has denied claims by the doc who operated on his knee that he put his career in jeopardy by playing at the World Cup. Kaka said that Dr Marc Martens overstated the extent of the injury. "Martens is a great pro but he raised the alarm, he exaggerated a lot," Kaka said. Martens said Kaka was in unbearable pain during Brazil's last-eight loss to Holland. Kaka replied that he was hard as and could handle it. "I played in pain in a lot of games, not just with Brazil, but with Real," he said. "It's nothing," he added – no doubt mindful of his next transfer fee bonus.
Ref fights back
You can forgive any ref wanting to slap a player. Let's face it, we all want to give Craig Bellamy a clip round the head. But a Chilean whistleblower actually scratched the itch last week, laying one player out who was in his face ranting away. Cue an ice hockey-style bench clearance as the entire squad chased the ref round the pitch. The ref, though, showed a clean pair of heels and made it safely back to the changing rooms. Our portly Alan Wiley might not have been so lucky.