It's quite a dust-up between two of Scotland's scariest men, isn't it? You couldn't have written a better script. Emperor Ferguson invites King Kenny to Old Trafford for his Liverpool coronation. Leicester duo Sven and Darius Vassell will be eyeing revenge over Man City, while Berwick, who are based in England don't forget, take on Celtic in the Scottish Cup.
The winner of the Ballon d'Or is announced in Zurich. I don't want to turn this into a betting column but here's a cheeky tip: the winner won't be English. Keep it to yourself, OK? The Clough family have plenty of FA Cup pedigree. Tonight, Nigel takes Derby to the "non-League Man City" – Crawley.
First leg of the Carling Cup semi-final between West Ham (who are concentrating on the Cup) and Birmingham. Hopefully the police won't outnumber the crowd.
Still not had your fill of Aussie-bashing? Fear not, here's some more. England marmalised them in the Ashes and, remember, are world Twenty20 kings. It's the first T20 in Adelaide, so expect Colly's champs to beat local chumps! In footy, Ipswich take on Arsenal in the Carling Cup semi. Sadly, for those who remember Roy Keane's frequent altercations with Arsenal, he will be busy walking his dog. Blackpool play one of their games in hand, and might never have a better chance of doing the double over a Liverpool side in transition – and probably confusion.
It's the snooker Masters in London. A pumped-up Ronnie O'Sullivan is on home turf and might be watched by his newly released Dad – cue an eruption right about.... now! It's also the Potters Holiday World Indoor Bowls in Hopton.
England's women get a chance to keep the foot on Australian cricket's throat in the T20 in Melbourne. Maybe our gals could play their guys? In round 47 of the Heineken Cup, Northampton do battle with Edinburgh.
It's the Premier League, but not as we know it. Who knows who will beat who, or who will be in charge at any club? Chelsea (with or without Carlo) face Blackburn (without Ronaldinho or Beckham), while Avram Grant will be watching West Ham versus Arsenal – but from the touchline or on telly?