The World Cup final. If you're English, you probably lost interest two weeks ago. If you're Irish, about two months ago. If you're Scottish... you do the math. At Silverstone, the best of British to Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton.
Another incongruous pre-season friendly, but it could be tasty as Quorn meet (or should that be meat?) Crewe.
If you fancy a pint in London, you're out of luck. Most of the capital's barmen are at Lord's cheering on Australia in a neutral Test with Pakistan. In footy friendlies, how many will Cammell Laird ship against Tranmere? Elsewhere, the Munster XI entertain Sunderland – I guess Herman is up front while Grandpa flies down the wing for the Munsters.
Typical Britain. We build up Mark Cavendish... then slag him if he fails to win every stage. We laud Bradley Wiggins... then pan him if he struggles to climb a col. We should be ashamed.
The Open at St Andrews. Tiger Woods' jet should get him there on time. If not, maybe his son Charlie – the world's No 1 15-month-old – can play.
The Champions' League draw. But only the third qualifying round, i.e. before "big guns" like Spurs come into play.
More friendlies. I hope Corby press against Northampton, Forres Mechanics throw a spanner in the works against Inverness, and San Jose Earthquakes spot the cracks in Tottenham's defence.