The Hacker: The eyes have it but maybe ear syringing cures waywardness
Sunday 25 July 2010
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For the first time in several years I stood on the first tee in the July medal and was able to see, with a long-forgotten clarity, the whole panorama – the fairway, the flag fluttering 400 yards away, the trees, the distant hills...
The cataracts had been removed from both eyes and I was glorying in the blessing of perfect vision. All I needed to complete the picture was the sight of my drive soaring high into the blue sky. I swung at the ball, made a healthy contact and looked expectantly upwards.
Where the hell was it? My two playing partners hadn't seen it either, and were indignant that after so long acting as my ball-spotters I was still requiring their service.
Thankfully, one of the next group approaching the tee had seen it flying way to the right and thought it might have reached the bushes.
I played a provisional and not only hit it high and straight but saw it every inch of the way. I managed to find the original but, unfortunately, waywardness followed me throughout the round. I was hitting the ball huge, but every third or fourth shot landed me in trouble. On one of my ventures on to an adjoining fairway, I encountered a GP friend of mine.
"What can I do, Doc?" I pleaded. "I've got my eyesight back but I'm still hitting it all over the place."
"Have you ever thought about having your ears syringed?" he replied sarcastically. I reminded him about the Hippocratic oath but discovered later he was having his own problems.
Needless to say, my score was way over 100. I can't give you an exact figure because my tee shot on the 18th had rolled out of bounds and I couldn't be bothered to walk all the way back to the tee, so I made a non-return.
So many golfers who NR do so to avoid putting in a high score. I always like to face the truth, however brutal, but on this one occasion my need for a pint overcame my principles.
I managed to excuse my high score with the reasoning that I'd need time to get used to my suddenly improved vision. Two other factors helped to calm me. It was the weekend of The Open – where I would have been working had it not been for my cataract operation – and the sight of Tiger Woods and umpteen other stars struggling around the Old Course made me feel less shamed.
And of the 196 who played in our July medal, 56 failed to break 100, including my two partners. That's almost a third of us. In failure, as in everything else, there's comfort in numbers.
I fared much better on Wednesday when I played at Royal Porthcawl with John. It was a beautiful, clear morning and I couldn't stop myself banging on about the views across the bay to Swansea and the Gower and across the channel to the hills of north Devon.
Six months ago, John had laser treatment on his eyes and he subjected everyone to the wonders he could now see. Now it was my turn to marvel, and the thrill of it all did my game no harm.
I won 3 & 2 and John said it was the best he'd seen me play but, as happy as that made me, I was more taken with the sights around me. Perhaps the reconditioned eyeballs have brought a new perspective.
Tip of the week
No 59: Chin up for better golf
So often I see golfers who can't understand why they're still topping the ball having been constantly told to keep their head down with their eyes fixed on the ball. The problem is their posture becomes stooped from the shoulders, with the chin buried on the chest, from the effort of keeping the head down. This makes it almost impossible to make a good shoulder-turn as the shoulders need to turn under the chin. A sway or shortened backswing is the result, and into impact the elbows fold as there is a lack of height to fully extend. Trying to keep the head down becomes almost impossible as the swing follows through. Try standing taller, especially from the chest, and keep that chin off the chest. Try to maintain this posture during the backswing and downswing allowing the arms to straighten into impact. You will quickly lose the topped shots and gain plenty of yardage.
Simon Iliffe, Head Pro, Bramley GC, Surrey. www.theshortgame.co.uk
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