Just another manic Tuesday

Fishing Lines

ONCE upon a time, this Tuesday was the most important day of my life. It was so important that I missed school, exams, interviews and work. I lost jobs, girlfriends, even (a twinge of guilt here) missed my sister's wedding. The reason was simply the date, 16 June. It was the start of the fishing season.

Coarse angling - for fish you can't eat such as roach, perch and carp - once had a closed season before the Environment Agency and commercial fish farmers tampered with it. The idea was that fish would spawn undisturbed between March and June. It also meant anglers had three idle months to stoke up their excitement at the whoppers they would catch.

At school the first part of June dragged so slowly I was convinced someone had tampered with the clocks. I cleaned every bit of tackle, even oiled my bike. In the week leading up to 16 June, I cycled daily to my chosen spot. As recommended in the fishing books, I threw in as much mashed bread as I could steal from home without being noticed.

The preceding day was an awful one. The biggest worry was: would someone have snaffled that prime spot by getting there earlier than me? To make sure, I cycled there straight after school. (In later years, the only difference was that I made the trip by car.) Generally, I was on the bankside by 8pm. Thank God, nobody there.

The magic time was midnight, but with all that anticipation, it was impossible not to cast in before that. When you are a child, the heavy hand of authority is terrifying, so I developed this cunning ruse: I turned my watch forwards 15 minutes. If caught, I could say: "No, my watch says it's gone midnight." Brilliant, or what?

But - and here's the pay-off - I never caught anything. That golden first day, the magical 16 June, was always useless. Looking back through my ill-spelt records, it's apparent I would have been far better staying in bed, and starting that year's fishing diary in July. The highlights were incidents like: "Fell in up to my waist." "Dropped torch into water." "Bitten 37 times by mosquitoes."

Even years on, I remember well the last one. It took place at Moor Lane (renamed by us Mosquito Lake), a marvellously emotive lake where giant fish splashed all night. Trouble was, it was the breeding ground for huge colonies of the giant English mosquito, famed for its ability to bite you through your socks. The following year, I took along two packets of joss-sticks in a bid to keep them away. All that happened was that I had a headache for days.

By midday on 16 June, I was usually wrecked. A night without sleep, the warm sun on your neck ... and so it was that my friend Jim woke me up saying, "Haven't you got Russian O level this afternoon?" He was right. I grabbed my tackle, jumped on my bike and cycled straight to school, arriving only 25 minutes late. As I dashed inthe scratching of pens stopped. I'm told that years later, the story of how one pupil arrived in a Parka smelling of fish, and left his tackle next to the invigilator's desk, was still doing the rounds in the masters' common-room.

But the god of fishing is a kindly god. It was another 15 June, and I was working as a junior reporter on a local paper. Taking the day off sick, I chose a tiny pond where nobody ever came. Except this particular day. I glanced up and saw, in the distance, the deputy editor. Horror. It was the sack for sure.

Except he was walking hand in hand with one of our senior reporters (a woman, for the suspicious among you). I pulled my coat round me, my hat down and stared at my float. The two strolled past. I know he saw me. He knows I saw him. And neither of us ever said a word about it.

I'll be working this Tuesday. A family, deadlines, commitments have all tied chains round my feet. The close season has been beaten and abused. In many areas, it doesn't exist. Other disciplines - trout and salmon fishing, sea fishing, big-game fishing - all make siren demands. But I still write in my diary: Start of the Fishing Season, for old times' sake.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Photographer / Floorplanner / Domestic Energy Assessor

£16000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Photographer/ Floor planner /...

Ashdown Group: Front-End Developer - Surrey - £40,000

£30000 - £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Front-End Developer - Guildford/Craw...

Recruitment Genius: Customer Service Assistant

£13500 - £15000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Customer Service Assistant is...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £35,000

£16000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An ambitious and motivated Sale...

Day In a Page

Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

How a costume drama became a Sunday night staple
Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers as he pushes Tories on housing

Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers

Labour leader pushes Tories on housing
Aviation history is littered with grand failures - from the the Bristol Brabazon to Concorde - but what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?

Aviation history is littered with grand failures

But what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?
Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of Soviet-style 'iron curtains' right across Europe

Fortress Europe?

Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of 'iron curtains'
Never mind what you're wearing, it's what you're reclining on

Never mind what you're wearing

It's what you're reclining on that matters
General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

Marginal Streets project documents voters

Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

The real-life kingdom of Westeros

Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?
How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

How to survive a Twitter mauling

Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls
Gallipoli centenary: At dawn, the young remember the young who perished in one of the First World War's bloodiest battles

At dawn, the young remember the young

A century ago, soldiers of the Empire – many no more than boys – spilt on to Gallipoli’s beaches. On this 100th Anzac Day, there are personal, poetic tributes to their sacrifice
Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves

Follow the money as never before

Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves, reports Rupert Cornwell
Samuel West interview: The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents

Samuel West interview

The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents
General Election 2015: Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, on what the leaders' appearances tell us about them
Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

The architect of the HeForShe movement and head of UN Women on the world's failure to combat domestic violence