Mathieu Bastareaud: France rugby player reveals he tried to kill himself after reading criticism on the internet of his performances

France international Bastareaud has revealed the incident from 2009 in his new autobiography

Click to follow
The Independent Online

Mathieu Bastareaud has revealed how he tried to take his life in 2009 after drinking heavily and becoming depressed when he saw people criticising him on the internet.

The France international has released his autobiography Head High: Confessions of an enfant terrible of rugby, in which he goes in to detail about an incident six years ago where he tried to kill himself.

Bastareaud read negative comments posted on a website by anonymous users, which led to him trying to kill himself with a knife. He explains that afterwards his friends found him on the kitchen floor unconscious and called for emergency services.


"I don't know if I really wanted to die. I wanted to suffer. Suffer to punish myself," Bastareaud writes.

"When you hear everywhere all day long that you are just a loser, that you don't deserve to be there ... You try to keep a cool attitude but you begin to believe what people say ... I smiled in public but, as soon as I came back home, I was alone."

France centre Mathieu Bastareaud

Bastareaud also revealed that he was kept in hospital afterwards with severe psychological troubles.

The Toulon centre has recovered since with the help of a psychologist, and he is now training with the France squad ahead of the Rugby World Cup later this year, where he is expected to be named in Philippe Saint-Andre’s final 31-man squad.