Philosopher and a rock in a hard place

Zurich Premiership: Life at the bottom does not scare Bristol's All Black coach – Thorburn has seen it all before

There are, Peter Thorburn observed, two types of coaches: those who have been fired and those who are about to be fired. As Bristol go into round five of the Zurich Premiership today, having played four, lost four, it might be assumed that Thorburn saw himself as typecast.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Bristol need to get off the bottom of the table, and a win against Leic-ester at the Memorial Ground this afternoon would help to redress the balance, but whatever lies ahead Thorburn remains the most philosophical coach in England. When it comes to hunger in sport, the New Zealander is not at the front of the bread queue.

For one thing he is 63; for another he has been there, done it and has the All Blacks T-shirt. He has sons older than some of the Bristol players. This is not to say that Thorburn is blasé about coaching the West Country club.

"I don't have time for anything but sleep and rugby,'' he said. Not strictly true. A couple of nights ago he took his squad to the Tobacco Factory in Bristol to watch a hypnotist, perhaps in the hope that when they emerged from the theatre a click of the fingers would transform their season.

Three months ago Bristol, after beating Leicester in the Zurich Championship at Welford Road, lost 28-23 to Gloucester in the final at Twickenham. A week yester-day they emerged from Kingsholm on the wrong side of a 45-18 beating by the Cherry and Whites, which seemed to highlight the difference between the team at the top and the one at the bottom. "At 26-18 with 14 minutes to go we were still in it,'' Thorburn said. Bristol lost their captain, Ross Beattie, and the New Zealand centre Daryl Gibson, whose debut lasted 10 minutes before a clash of heads with his Australian team-mate Michael Lipman saw him depart with blurred vision.

Gibson, an All Black, was signed by Thorburn as a replacement for Jason Little. Little, who captained the club last season, has retired, but there were even bigger departures. Jack Rowell, the managing director, returned to his first love, Bath, and Dean Ryan, the coach, joined Nigel Melville at Gloucester. It was all the more hurtful because they were West Country detours. The Rowell-Ryan partnership was not exactly Pearl and Dean.

"Let's just say there was a communication gap,'' Thorburn said. "Jack was a frustrated coach and in turn Dean was thwarted by Jack in his development. It didn't pan out. I have huge admiration for Dean. He's made a brave move, but I think he's got a great future. He makes people follow him. If there's anything in the road he'll knock it over. It's a difficult pass from playing to coaching. I went through the same thing.''

Thorburn was a No 8 for Auckland – "I was comparatively small and I wouldn't get in the back line now, let alone the pack'' – before running a pharmacy business. He sold it in 1988 and retired five years ago, concentrating on owning and breeding racehorses.

Thorburn worked as an analyst with Wayne Smith during the World Cup in 1999 and when John Hart was dismissed as the All Blacks coach, following the rout by France at Twickenham in the semi-finals, Smith was promoted. He asked Thorburn and Tony Gilbert to be joint selectors.

A measure of the upheaval in New Zealand rugby is that Smith, who was replaced as the national coach by John Mitchell, is now in charge at Northampton, Gilbert runs the new Borders set-up in Scotland and Thorburn has succeeded Ryan at Bristol. Then there's Warren Gatland at Wasps and Wayne Shelford at Saracens, both of whom have worked with Thorburn.

"I had to think about my new post,'' Thorburn said. "I'd developed a really good relationship with Dean and we started to do something in the second half of last season. My philosophy is that the players have to stay on their feet and keep the ball in hand. Dean and the squad bought into that and were beginning to enjoy themselves. In the end I decided that I didn't want somebody else coming in and changing everything we'd done. There's a right way to play this game.''

Thorburn, who has signed a two-year contract, only arrived in Bristol in March and has yet to experience a British winter. "If somebody told me seven months ago that I'd be in this position I would have laughed in their face.''

In the club's cramped offices in Eastgate, Thorburn is occupying the chair vacated by Rowell. He reminded the former England coach that in 1993 a New Zealand A side, coached by Thorburn, defeated an England A team, coached by Rowell. "The referee,'' Rowell responded, "was a cheat.''

Thorburn's banter is now directed at his coaching co-ordinator, the Australian Jimmy Grant.

"What do you call an Aussie with 40 wives?'' Thorburn asked. "A shepherd.'' Ho, ho.

When Thorburn arrived in Britain, Grant drove him to Bristol. "We were going through the St Paul's area and the first thing I saw was a bloke with a knife chasing two other men. They were moving so quickly I thought we should sign them up. Welcome to Bristol.''

Thorburn is impressed with the standard of the Premiership, less so with the referees, and Roy Maybank in particular. He refereed Bristol in the Zurich Championship final and again against Wasps a couple of weeks ago. "We lost to a penalty try in the sixth minute of injury time,'' Thorburn lamented. "In short we were robbed. I don't normally go in for referee-bashing but they have to be aware of a huge responsibility. If a club are relegated it's going to cost them millions. It's not nice being at the bottom but there's not a big gulf between the teams. Nobody is going to stand out this season.

"There are a lot of positives here. The squad is very young and that helps me to be young at heart. There's a funny culture. Only two of the players are Bristol-born. Young, itinerant groups seem to be the nature of Premiership rugby. Only one of my players has a family to support. It can be difficult developing selflessness.

"One day England will beat the world, but they have a way to go yet. This is a very tough competition but it's impossible to compare with the Super 12. My only observation is that there's probably a greater hunger in the southern hemisphere. In New Zealand and Australia, if you don't perform you have to find a real job.

"The greatest thing is to see young people reach their potential. We have just got to be smarter and try and get up there with the top dogs. Somebody studied my lifeline once and told me I'd live to be 93. That pisses a lot of people off. If you wake up in the morning it beats the hell out of the alternative.''