Five ways to really annoy your housemates

Matthew Hawker apparently has something he wants to get off his chest...

These days, higher education is not only a hard-earned privilege, but a rite of passage; for the majority of young people, studying at university is fast becoming the norm. As such, the real concern for a prospective student is no longer whether they’ll get into a university, but to ensure that they’ll be accepted into their institution of choice.

However, when you do eventually arrive, there are a number of things that you’d do well to consider; all of which relate to being a good housemate. At times, the clash of personalities in a household can mean living in shared accommodation is a nightmare. On the other hand, your housemates shouldn’t really have much cause for complaint, provided you aren’t at fault for any of these five inexcusable offences.

Opening a window when the heating’s on

You do realise that you’re a university student, don’t you? It has been made abundantly clear to you that the heating is a gift, not a given, hasn’t it? Well, in that case, it might be worth remembering that leaving the window open is quite possibly the most aggravatingly careless thing you could’ve done whilst the heating’s on. In fact, why is it on in the first place? Heat doesn’t come cheap, y’know.

Forgetting to lock the front door

Are you a fan of high crime rates? Or do you simply not care about your own property? Forgetting to lock the front door is equivalent to leaving it wide open. Due to the sheer bulk of goodies both you and your housemates will have stored in your university abode, you’ll already be a target of many ambitious burglars in your area; and you don’t want to have to be the one to explain how they managed to get away with everything so easily.

Making an excessive amount of noise during the small hours

This doesn’t necessarily refer to your drunken outbursts after a night of hard binge-drinking; you are, after all, a student. No, this is more likely to be directed towards the musicians of the house. If you are musically gifted, then great; the world can never have too many of the culturally aware. However, if you also have nocturnal tendencies, then, I’m afraid, there will be a problem.

Ultimately, most people attend university to study. You might very well choose to ignore this aspect of the experience, but that doesn’t mean everybody else will. As such, you might want to call time on your late-night music career; there are only so many times your housemates will endure ‘Smoke on the Water’ at four in the morning before they reach the end of their tether.

Refusing to take the bin out

What’s that? The bin needs to be taken out? Well, I wouldn’t worry about it; you took it out last week, right? Wrong. You never take the bin out, and that’s why you’re being asked to do so now.

If this sounds anything like yourself, then the chances are that you’re probably not around much. In your eyes, any time that you do pull your weight deserves a degree of appreciation. Though, from your housemates, your infrequent contributions will only ever be met with a thankful cry of ‘hallelujah’.

Neglecting to wash-up borrowed kitchenware

It’s becoming less and less rewarding to arrive at halls equipped with an arsenal of kitchen utensils. Of course, those assorted stainless steel knives did look very appealing in the store, and how else were you to cope without that whisk, sieve and pizza cutter? It’s all too easy for your typically anxious first year student to panic-buy these, quite frankly, unnecessary kitchen items. If you want a piece of advice, buy only what you absolutely can’t live without, and nothing else.

However, should one of your very overly prepared housemates choose to ignore this message, then do not take it upon yourself to capitalise on their poor judgement. It is already likely that a year-long merry-go-round of uncovering who exactly ‘borrowed’ their property, then casually ‘forgot’ to wash it up afterwards awaits them; so they don’t need your help in making things any worse.

Matthew Hawker is currently a student at the University of Sheffield, where living conditions seem grim. Follow him on Twitter via @MatthewHawker1

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Student

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£18000 - £23000 per annum + OTE £45K: SThree: At SThree, we like to be differe...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant Bristol

£18000 - £23000 per annum + + uncapped commission + benefits: SThree: Did you ...

SThree: Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + benefits + uncapped commission: SThree: Did you kn...

Recruitment Genius: Graduate / Junior Web Developer

£18000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Day In a Page

General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

Marginal Streets project documents voters

Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

The real-life kingdom of Westeros

Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?
How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

How to survive a Twitter mauling

Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls
Gallipoli centenary: At dawn, the young remember the young who perished in one of the First World War's bloodiest battles

At dawn, the young remember the young

A century ago, soldiers of the Empire – many no more than boys – spilt on to Gallipoli’s beaches. On this 100th Anzac Day, there are personal, poetic tributes to their sacrifice
Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves

Follow the money as never before

Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves, reports Rupert Cornwell
Samuel West interview: The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents

Samuel West interview

The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents
General Election 2015: Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, on what the leaders' appearances tell us about them
Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

The architect of the HeForShe movement and head of UN Women on the world's failure to combat domestic violence
Public relations as 'art'? Surely not

Confessions of a former PR man

The 'art' of public relations is being celebrated by the V&A museum, triggering some happy memories for DJ Taylor
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef succumbs to his sugar cravings with super-luxurious sweet treats

Bill Granger's luxurious sweet treats

Our chef loves to stop for 30 minutes to catch up on the day's gossip, while nibbling on something sweet
London Marathon 2015: Paula Radcliffe and the mother of all goodbyes

The mother of all goodbyes

Paula Radcliffe's farewell to the London Marathon will be a family affair
Everton vs Manchester United: Steven Naismith demands 'better' if Toffees are to upset the odds against United

Steven Naismith: 'We know we must do better'

The Everton forward explains the reasons behind club's decline this season
Arsenal vs Chelsea: Praise to Arsene Wenger for having the courage of his convictions

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Praise to Wenger for having the courage of his convictions