Five ways to really annoy your housemates

Matthew Hawker apparently has something he wants to get off his chest...

These days, higher education is not only a hard-earned privilege, but a rite of passage; for the majority of young people, studying at university is fast becoming the norm. As such, the real concern for a prospective student is no longer whether they’ll get into a university, but to ensure that they’ll be accepted into their institution of choice.

However, when you do eventually arrive, there are a number of things that you’d do well to consider; all of which relate to being a good housemate. At times, the clash of personalities in a household can mean living in shared accommodation is a nightmare. On the other hand, your housemates shouldn’t really have much cause for complaint, provided you aren’t at fault for any of these five inexcusable offences.

Opening a window when the heating’s on

You do realise that you’re a university student, don’t you? It has been made abundantly clear to you that the heating is a gift, not a given, hasn’t it? Well, in that case, it might be worth remembering that leaving the window open is quite possibly the most aggravatingly careless thing you could’ve done whilst the heating’s on. In fact, why is it on in the first place? Heat doesn’t come cheap, y’know.

Forgetting to lock the front door

Are you a fan of high crime rates? Or do you simply not care about your own property? Forgetting to lock the front door is equivalent to leaving it wide open. Due to the sheer bulk of goodies both you and your housemates will have stored in your university abode, you’ll already be a target of many ambitious burglars in your area; and you don’t want to have to be the one to explain how they managed to get away with everything so easily.

Making an excessive amount of noise during the small hours

This doesn’t necessarily refer to your drunken outbursts after a night of hard binge-drinking; you are, after all, a student. No, this is more likely to be directed towards the musicians of the house. If you are musically gifted, then great; the world can never have too many of the culturally aware. However, if you also have nocturnal tendencies, then, I’m afraid, there will be a problem.

Ultimately, most people attend university to study. You might very well choose to ignore this aspect of the experience, but that doesn’t mean everybody else will. As such, you might want to call time on your late-night music career; there are only so many times your housemates will endure ‘Smoke on the Water’ at four in the morning before they reach the end of their tether.

Refusing to take the bin out

What’s that? The bin needs to be taken out? Well, I wouldn’t worry about it; you took it out last week, right? Wrong. You never take the bin out, and that’s why you’re being asked to do so now.

If this sounds anything like yourself, then the chances are that you’re probably not around much. In your eyes, any time that you do pull your weight deserves a degree of appreciation. Though, from your housemates, your infrequent contributions will only ever be met with a thankful cry of ‘hallelujah’.

Neglecting to wash-up borrowed kitchenware

It’s becoming less and less rewarding to arrive at halls equipped with an arsenal of kitchen utensils. Of course, those assorted stainless steel knives did look very appealing in the store, and how else were you to cope without that whisk, sieve and pizza cutter? It’s all too easy for your typically anxious first year student to panic-buy these, quite frankly, unnecessary kitchen items. If you want a piece of advice, buy only what you absolutely can’t live without, and nothing else.

However, should one of your very overly prepared housemates choose to ignore this message, then do not take it upon yourself to capitalise on their poor judgement. It is already likely that a year-long merry-go-round of uncovering who exactly ‘borrowed’ their property, then casually ‘forgot’ to wash it up afterwards awaits them; so they don’t need your help in making things any worse.

Matthew Hawker is currently a student at the University of Sheffield, where living conditions seem grim. Follow him on Twitter via @MatthewHawker1

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
A boy holds a chick during the Russian National Agricultural Exhibition Golden Autumn 2014 in Moscow on October 9, 2014.
Life and Style
love + sex
Ashley Young celebrates the winner for Manchester United against Newcastle
footballNewcastle v United 1 player ratings
Arts and Entertainment
Victoria Wood, Kayvan Novak, Alexa Chung, Chris Moyles
tvReview: No soggy bottoms, but plenty of other baking disasters on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off
Ashley Young celebrates the winner for Manchester United against Newcastle
footballNewcastle 0 Man United 1: Last minute strike seals precious victory
Life and Style
Tikka Masala has been overtaken by Jalfrezi as the nation's most popular curry
food + drink
Arts and Entertainment
Seth Rogan is one of America’s most famous pot smokers
filmAmy Pascal resigned after her personal emails were leaked following a cyber-attack sparked by the actor's film The Interview
Benjamin Netanyahu and his cartoon bomb – the Israeli PM shows his ‘evidence’
Arts and Entertainment
80s trailblazer: comedian Tracey Ullman
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Student

Ashdown Group: Graduate Application Support Analyst

£25000 - £30000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: A global leader operating...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + OTE £40,000: SThree: SThree have recently been awa...

SThree: Recruitment Resourcer

£20000 - £21000 per annum + uncapped commission: SThree: As a graduate you are...

Recruitment Genius: Graduate / Junior Software Developer

£24000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Graduate/Junior Software Deve...

Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Day In a Page

War with Isis: Iraq's government fights to win back Tikrit from militants - but then what?

Baghdad fights to win back Tikrit from Isis – but then what?

Patrick Cockburn reports from Kirkuk on a conflict which sectarianism has made intractable
Living with Alzheimer's: What is it really like to be diagnosed with early-onset dementia?

What is it like to live with Alzheimer's?

Depicting early-onset Alzheimer's, the film 'Still Alice' had a profound effect on Joy Watson, who lives with the illness. She tells Kate Hilpern how she's coped with the diagnosis
The Internet of Things: Meet the British salesman who gave real-world items a virtual life

Setting in motion the Internet of Things

British salesman Kevin Ashton gave real-world items a virtual life
Election 2015: Latest polling reveals Tories and Labour on course to win the same number of seats - with the SNP holding the balance of power

Election 2015: A dead heat between Mr Bean and Dick Dastardly!

Lord Ashcroft reveals latest polling – and which character voters associate with each leader
Audiences queue up for 'true stories told live' as cult competition The Moth goes global

Cult competition The Moth goes global

The non-profit 'slam storytelling' competition was founded in 1997 by the novelist George Dawes Green and has seen Malcolm Gladwell, Salman Rushdie and Molly Ringwald all take their turn at the mic
Pakistani women come out fighting: A hard-hitting play focuses on female Muslim boxers

Pakistani women come out fighting

Hard-hitting new play 'No Guts, No Heart, No Glory' focuses on female Muslim boxers
Leonora Carrington transcended her stolid background to become an avant garde star

Surreal deal: Leonora Carrington

The artist transcended her stolid background to become an avant garde star
LGBT History Month: Pupils discuss topics from Sappho to same-sex marriage

Education: LGBT History Month

Pupils have been discussing topics from Sappho to same-sex marriage
11 best gel eyeliners

Go bold this season: 11 best gel eyeliners

Use an ink pot eyeliner to go bold on the eyes with this season's feline flicked winged liner
Cricket World Cup 2015: Tournament runs riot to make the event more hit than miss...

Cricket World Cup runs riot to make the event more hit than miss...

The tournament has reached its halfway mark and scores of 300 and amazing catches abound. One thing never changes, though – everyone loves beating England
Katarina Johnson-Thompson: Heptathlete ready to jump at first major title

Katarina Johnson-Thompson: Ready to jump at first major title

After her 2014 was ruined by injury, 21-year-old Briton is leading pentathlete going into this week’s European Indoors. Now she intends to turn form into gold
Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot