It's the only reality show where competence and self-awareness matter more than exhibitionism. And guess what? The women trounced the men...

It all turned ugly on Twitter yesterday. Will these TV celebrities ever make up?

Royal appointment worth keeping

As the latest series starts this week, leaks about the new contestants suggest that past misdemeanours are excellent publicity – for them and the show

The week in books

This year's batch of would-be business tycoons are challenged to get more bangers for their buck when they are sent out by Lord Sugar to make and sell sausages in the new series of The Apprentice.

Another split in the Coalition Government: while the Conservative Party, off to Birmingham for its autumn conference, has chosen a five-star venue, the Hyatt Regency, the Liberal Democrats have opted for something a little moare in keeping with these times of austerity.

Three of 'The Apprentice' star's prized Mayfair buildings go on sale at pre-credit crunch prices

Another high-flyer?

His letter makes a surreal mockery of his role in the catastrophic ownership of Gillett Jnr and Hicks

The volcanic ash hovering over Triesmangate leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, a massive dent in England's 2018 World Cup ambitions and yet another "sit vac" notice pinned on the Football Association's notice board. Worse still, it has enticed Sir Alan Sugar to declare his interest in sipping from then poisoned chalice. Someone should tell him now "You're fired!" before he is hired because with Lord Sugar in charge it would be a decidedly unsweet FA. He doesn't do humility or schmoozing, and would get up more noses than a stash of the white stuff at an Amy Winehouse housewarming. The incoming Minister for Sport and the Olympics, Hugh Robertson, is insistent that another independent chairman should succeed the loose-tongued Triesman – but my hunch is that he could be persuaded otherwise if one of the game's most respected figures became a candidate. Please step forward Sir Trevor Brooking, for six years the FA's director or football development. One of the brainiest and most elegant footballers, he has also proved he knows how to steady a ship and steer it intelligently as he showed when he was a first-class chairman of Sport England. There is no one outside of Fabio Capello among the vast number of FA hirelings who knows more about the game from top to bottom. Who better than the thinking fan's pro to bridge the damaging gap between the FA and the Premier League? Brooking would also be a distinguished addition to the bid's front-bench team, whose surprise election tactic may see Seb Coe making the keynote platform address, impressively flanked by two Daves: Beckham and Cameron.

Lord Sugar would consider it a "great honour" to become the new chairman of the Football Association.

It's The Apprentice, but not quite as we know it. For one thing, Surallen has gone – that terrified smear of an honorific rendered obsolete by last year's ennoblement. It's Lord Sugar now, which doesn't have the same ring to it at all, though it did provide for one unintentional moment of comedy in last night's opener, when a prospective firee fell over himself trying to make the depths of his humility clear: "No no... definitely not Sir... Lord," he stammered, making Sugar sound like a wrathful Jahweh, putting in an appearance to smite the unprofitable. For another thing, all the contestants in Junior Apprentice are teenagers, which leaves the avid viewer in something of a conscience trap when it comes to gleeful loathing. Half the pleasure of The Apprentice has always been comeuppance – the certifiable ego-pump of the opening few minutes stirring in us a desire for public humiliation. Do we want to see teenagers cry, though? And even if we do (don't judge me till you've seen them in action), won't our self-indulgence leave a slightly sour taste behind it?

Enterprise tsar Lord Sugar has