News Dr Leah Totton, right, alongside Apprentice mentor Karren Brady

The first cosmetic skin clinic launched by last year’s winner of The Apprentice, in partnership with Lord Sugar, has opened its doors

Business Diary: It's time to buy more gold, fool

The people behind Bloomberg TV are calm, sensible folk, just as you'd expect the management of a cable channel dedicated to finance to be. Still, one of the channel's bookers clearly has a sense of humour – and had a smart idea yesterday for a guest to discuss the ongoing gold price surge.

Last Night's TV: Wonderland: Boy Cheerleaders/BBC2<br />The Apprentice/BBC1<br />Explosions: How We Shook the World/BBC4

If those who proselytise on behalf of the Big Society have the slightest bit of common sense, they will ring up the BBC this morning, order several thousand copies of last night's Wonderland, and post them to every sceptic of plans for the regeneration of civic society with whom they are familiar. They'll find no finer example of the little platoons on whom they have staked their futures, nor of such a group doing so much good for such troubled children in such an affecting way.

The Apprentice, BBC1, Wednesday<br/>PhoneShop, E4, Thursday

It's the only reality show where competence and self-awareness matter more than exhibitionism. And guess what? The women trounced the men...

Allsopp vs Sugar. He's uncharitable. She's a lying cow!

It all turned ugly on Twitter yesterday. Will these TV celebrities ever make up?

How nasty do you have to be to win 'The Apprentice'?

As the latest series starts this week, leaks about the new contestants suggest that past misdemeanours are excellent publicity &ndash; for them and the show

Boyd Tonkin: How to inscribe a future for words

The week in books

New batch of Apprentice candidates revealed

This year's batch of would-be business tycoons are challenged to get more bangers for their buck when they are sent out by Lord Sugar to make and sell sausages in the new series of The Apprentice.

Business Diary: Party conference on the cheap

Another split in the Coalition Government: while the Conservative Party, off to Birmingham for its autumn conference, has chosen a five-star venue, the Hyatt Regency, the Liberal Democrats have opted for something a little moare in keeping with these times of austerity.

For sale: Lord Sugar's hot properties

Three of 'The Apprentice' star's prized Mayfair buildings go on sale at pre-credit crunch prices

James Lawton: Moores' Liverpool lament is a self-pitying testament to football men's follies

His letter makes a surreal mockery of his role in the catastrophic ownership of Gillett Jnr and Hicks

Inside Lines: Sugar not sweet enough for FA but Brooking is a class act

The volcanic ash hovering over Triesmangate leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, a massive dent in England's 2018 World Cup ambitions and yet another "sit vac" notice pinned on the Football Association's notice board. Worse still, it has enticed Sir Alan Sugar to declare his interest in sipping from then poisoned chalice. Someone should tell him now "You're fired!" before he is hired because with Lord Sugar in charge it would be a decidedly unsweet FA. He doesn't do humility or schmoozing, and would get up more noses than a stash of the white stuff at an Amy Winehouse housewarming. The incoming Minister for Sport and the Olympics, Hugh Robertson, is insistent that another independent chairman should succeed the loose-tongued Triesman – but my hunch is that he could be persuaded otherwise if one of the game's most respected figures became a candidate. Please step forward Sir Trevor Brooking, for six years the FA's director or football development. One of the brainiest and most elegant footballers, he has also proved he knows how to steady a ship and steer it intelligently as he showed when he was a first-class chairman of Sport England. There is no one outside of Fabio Capello among the vast number of FA hirelings who knows more about the game from top to bottom. Who better than the thinking fan's pro to bridge the damaging gap between the FA and the Premier League? Brooking would also be a distinguished addition to the bid's front-bench team, whose surprise election tactic may see Seb Coe making the keynote platform address, impressively flanked by two Daves: Beckham and Cameron.

Alan Sugar interested in FA role

Lord Sugar would consider it a "great honour" to become the new chairman of the Football Association.

Last Night's TV: Junior Apprentice, BBC1<br />Cracking Antiques, BBC2

It's The Apprentice, but not quite as we know it. For one thing, Surallen has gone – that terrified smear of an honorific rendered obsolete by last year's ennoblement. It's Lord Sugar now, which doesn't have the same ring to it at all, though it did provide for one unintentional moment of comedy in last night's opener, when a prospective firee fell over himself trying to make the depths of his humility clear: "No no... definitely not Sir... Lord," he stammered, making Sugar sound like a wrathful Jahweh, putting in an appearance to smite the unprofitable. For another thing, all the contestants in Junior Apprentice are teenagers, which leaves the avid viewer in something of a conscience trap when it comes to gleeful loathing. Half the pleasure of The Apprentice has always been comeuppance – the certifiable ego-pump of the opening few minutes stirring in us a desire for public humiliation. Do we want to see teenagers cry, though? And even if we do (don't judge me till you've seen them in action), won't our self-indulgence leave a slightly sour taste behind it?

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Kenny Ireland, pictured in 2010.
peopleActor, from House of Cards and Benidorm, was 68
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A scene from the video shows students mock rioting
newsSchool leaver's YouTube video features staging of a playground gun massacre
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travel
Environment
View from the Llanberis Track to the mountain lake Llyn
Du’r Arddu
environmentA large chunk of Mount Snowdon, in north Wales, is up for sale
Voices
A family sit and enjoy a quiet train journey
voicesForcing us to overhear dull phone conversations is an offensive act, says Simon Kelner
Arts and Entertainment
The cast of The Big Bang Theory in a still from the show
tvBig Bang Theory filming delayed by contract dispute over actors' pay
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England celebrate a wicket for Moeen Ali
sportMoeen Ali stars with five wickets as Cook's men level India series
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Morrissey pictured in 2013
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Life and Style
The director of Wall-E Andrew Stanton with Angus MacLane's Lego model
gadgetsDesign made in Pixar animator’s spare time could get retail release
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peopleGuitarist, who played with Aerosmith, Lou Reed and Alice Cooper among others, was 71
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
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Save the tiger: Tiger, tiger burning less brightly as numbers plummet

Tiger, tiger burning less brightly

When William Blake wrote his famous poem there were probably more than 100,000 tigers in the wild. These days they probably number around 3,200
A tale of two presidents: George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story

A tale of two presidents

George W Bush downs his paintbrush to pen father’s life story
Save the tiger: The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

With only six per cent of the US population of these amazing big cats held in zoos, the Zanesville incident in 2011 was inevitable
Samuel Beckett's biographer reveals secrets of the writer's time as a French Resistance spy

How Samuel Beckett became a French Resistance spy

As this year's Samuel Beckett festival opens in Enniskillen, James Knowlson, recalls how the Irish writer risked his life for liberty and narrowly escaped capture by the Gestapo
We will remember them: relatives still honour those who fought in the Great War

We will remember them

Relatives still honour those who fought in the Great War
Star Wars Episode VII is being shot on film - and now Kodak is launching a last-ditch bid to keep celluloid alive

Kodak's last-ditch bid to keep celluloid alive

Director J J Abrams and a few digital refuseniks shoot movies on film. Simon Usborne wonders what the fuss is about
Once stilted and melodramatic, Hollywood is giving acting in video games a makeover

Acting in video games gets a makeover

David Crookes meets two of the genre's most popular voices
Could our smartphones soon be diagnosing diseases via Health Kit and Google Fit?

Could smartphones soon be diagnosing diseases?

Health Kit and Google Fit have been described as "the beginning of a health revolution"
Ryanair has turned on the 'charm offensive' but can we learn to love the cut-price carrier again?

Can we learn to love Ryanair again?

Four recent travellers give their verdicts on the carrier's improved customer service
Billionaire founder of Spanx launches range of jeans that offers

Spanx launches range of jeans

The jeans come in two styles, multiple cuts and three washes and will go on sale in the UK in October
10 best over-ear headphones

Aural pleasure: 10 best over-ear headphones

Listen to your favourite tracks with this selection, offering everything from lambskin earmuffs to stainless steel
Commonwealth Games 2014: David Millar ready to serve up gold for his beloved Scotland in the end

Commonwealth Games

David Millar ready to serve up gold for his beloved Scotland in the end
UCI Mountain Bike World Cup 2014: Downhill all the way to the top for the Atherton siblings

UCI Mountain Bike World Cup

Downhill all the way to the top for the Atherton siblings
Save the tiger: The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The big cats kept in captivity to perform for paying audiences and then, when dead, their bodies used to fortify wine
A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery all included in top 50 hidden spots in the UK

A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery

Introducing the top 50 hidden spots in Britain