What with being the first contestant to be voted out of the Big Brother house, not to mention facing ongoing calls to be burned at the stake by the Daily Mail, it's proved a fraught few days for Speaker's wife Sally Bercow. So, amid these troubled times, what could be more welcome than the sight of her very own knight in shining armour triumphantly emerging over the horizon with the express intention of putting Sally's numerous enemies to the sword? "Pray, who could this valiant warrior be?" I hear you ask. "Why, I think it's our favourite Estonian and glamour model-botherer Lembit 'Lancelot' Opik!" Oh! comes the admittedly deflated reply. Still, it's a bank holiday and Hugh Grant didn't have the decency to return my (numerous) calls. "There's a difference between having depth and being a celebrity," declares Lembit, himself a reality television reject of note. "Sally has something to say. I supported her decision to go on the programme. My advice to Sally would now be to pursue any libel actions." Her weary other Senor Bercow would be wise to keep the impressionable Sally away from this man's mysterious charms.
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Wednesday 31 May 2006
David Beckham believes the team spirit in the England camp is the best he has ever known as they prepare for their first match in the World Cup in 10 days' time.
Saturday 20 May 2006
The chief executive of John Laing, the construction group, surprised investors yesterday by announcing he was quitting the company after seven years, to pursue other interests such as writing.
Saturday 20 May 2006
A senior Hamas official on Friday tried to sneak 639,000 euros (£434,000) into the Gaza Strip, hiding 500-euro bills in a white pouch tucked under his shirt in the first major cash smuggling attempt by an increasingly desperate Hamas government choked by Western economic sanctions.
Friday 19 May 2006
The Home Office faces the ultimate embarrassment as five illegal workers were caught cleaning the offices of the immigration service.
Monday 15 May 2006
Lancashire continued their fine C&G Trophy form with a 125-run victory over Durham at Old Trafford yesterday. Mark Chilton's side, who have now won four matches out of four, posted 307 for 5 before bowling the visitors out for 182.
Tuesday 01 February 2005
Tuesday 07 December 2004
Michael Howard was facing a rift in the Tory party over identity cards yesterday as senior figures urged him to declare opposition to Labour's plan.
Thursday 07 October 2004
David Davis warned that "treasured" British values of tolerance were threatened by "uncontrolled immigration" yesterday as he committed a Tory government to heavy cuts in the numbers allowed to settle in this country.
Saturday 11 September 2004
David Blunkett has agreed to reinstate the beleaguered Chief Constable of Humberside on condition that he retires within six months.
Tuesday 17 August 2004
Tom Winsor, the former rail regulator, was caught up in a row last night over moves by Tony Blair to weaken anti-sleaze measures on ministers and civil servants cashing in on their expertise with private companies.
Sunday 01 August 2004
Satisfaction with Michael Howard's performance as Conservative leader has hit an all-time low according to an exclusive MORI poll for The Independent on Sunday.
Thursday 09 December 1999
Friday 19 November 1999
Wednesday 17 November 1999
Tuesday 16 November 1999
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
Sony hack: Angelina Jolie branded 'seriously out of her mind' in further embarrassing leaked email saga
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more