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Outlook Champagne bonuses, Christmas cracker competitions, "Grand in your Hand" contests: welcome to the wacky world of Lloyds bank's staff incentive plans.

FAN'S EYE VIEW: Martin O'Neill : The Irishman cometh in the age of miracles

ONE RECENT Saturday we drove down to London to see Kevin Spacey in The Iceman Cometh at The Old Vic. I'll see Kevin Spacey in anything. The play is set in the No Chance Saloon, a New York bar where a dozen bums drink, indulge their pipe dreams and wait for Hickey. This Hickey (Spacey) is something of a hero, a salesman-messiah.

Television: Portrait of the artist as an old man

Last night was Jack Lemmon night on BBC2. Why?

Film: A flick through the Good and Evil book

Mark Cook visits Savannah, Georgia, whose eccentrics and scandalous past have brought Clint Eastwood to town

Videos: L'Appartement (15), Artificial Eye (available to rent 23 Feb)

In Gilles Mimouni's engrossing romantic thriller, Max (Vincent La Haine Cassel) risks losing his wife-to-be and career to pursue a woman he believes to be his lost love. You won't have seen a film so intricately structured since The Usual Suspects, but don't expect to have to wait until the death to have the narrative knots unravelled.

Film: London Top Ten

1 / TITANIC

Choice: Film: LA Confidential

LA Confidential, on general release

LONDON TOP TEN

1 / LA CONFIDENTIAL

Box-office UK

1 The Full Monty

New Films: BOX OFFICE; london

1 Face/Off

Cinema Review: It's not exactly noir, but I like it

Curtis Hanson's LA Confidential (18) is clearly the best crime picture of the year. Smart, stylish and brutal, it has an exhilarating film noir plot (filleted from James Ellroy's novel) and an impeccable sense of time and place (Los Angeles, 1953, cracked Bakelite under a haze of nickel-cigar smoke). And its dramatis personae are the most carnivorous pack of grifters, sharks and patsies seen since John Huston filmed Dashiell Hammett.

People: Hopkins's Hannibal voted baddest baddie ever

Hannibal Lecter is the most evil movie character ever, according to a top 100 of film bad guys.

The usual suspect

Need to add an undercurrent of cold-blooded menace to your thriller? Step forward Kevin Spacey... Until now. Ryan Gilbey meets the actor-turned- director whose latest role is, well, someone you'd like to take home and cuddle

ARTS 1996

It was the year of Cezanne at the Tate and Oasis at Maine Road; of `Moll Flanders' and `Emma', `Trainspotting' and `Our Friends in the North'. And here, in time-honoured tradition, our critics pick their people and productions of the past 12 months. The envelopes please ...

Film: Wild Angle

"What I really want to do is act" was once the favourite refrain of the model bent on being "taken seriously". But these days, beautiful airheads would do well to skip the thespian stage and head straight for the camera, craftily leap-frogging all those actors moaning that what they really want to do is direct. The actor-director is not a new thing. As a species, they're a bit like the actor- managers of Victorian theatre, a megalomaniac breed that transmuted with Darwinian ease into the likes of Charlie Chaplin when moving pictures came along. These were monumental talents with egos to match, choreographing themselves in their own movies.

Letter: Is `Cassandra' a woman?

Sir: Your "resident Greek scholar" might have pointed out that, besides being murdered by Clytemnestra, Cassandra was, rather more relevantly, a woman ("Predictions galore in Cassandra hunt", 16 November). Shouldn't your line-up of the usual suspects - Austin Mitchell, Tony Banks, John Garrett - therefore have included a woman or two?
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Gywneth Paltrow proposed that women seek out a special herbal steam-treatment service
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The party's potential nominations read like a high school race for student body president

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A mother and her child
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The veterans Mark Hayward, Hugh Thompson and Sean Staines (back) with Grayson Perry (front left) and Evgeny Lebedev
charity appealMaverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
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Cold case: Aaron McCusker and Christopher Eccleston in ‘Fortitude’
tvReview: Sky Atlantic's ambitious new series Fortitude has begun with a feature-length special
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Three people wearing masks depicting Ed Miliband, David Cameron and Nick Clegg
voicesPolitics is in the gutter – but there is an alternative, says Nigel Farage
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Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee