Voices Sex thimble: Moore, left, with Peter Cook

Like lots of academic research, the new Oxford University study into us short-arses (I qualify, I believe) says nothing terribly new. Supposed "Short Man Syndrome" has been around for as long as us short blokes have taken our tiny strides across God's earth.

Chalk Talk: Oxford and Cambridge aren't top of every league table

Interesting to look at the employment records of our leading universities, as published by the Higher Education statistics Agency last week. It's not the usual suspects that are in the top spots for getting their graduates into a job or further study. However, it may not be that surprising that some of the specialist higher education institutions do best.

Turl Street Kitchen, 16-17 Turl Street Oxford

At a scrubbed wooden table, a dapper, Rumpole-ish gentleman is taking lunch, in immaculate suit and wide red braces. Behind him, also eating alone, is a troll in human form – a small, wild-haired oldster wearing a plunging singlet and very short shorts, his abundantly furry chest and shoulders on proud display. Both of these unlikely fellow diners look perfectly at home.

Cockatoos show they can master the nuts and bolts

Cockatoos can crack tough puzzles and even unpick locks to reach a reward, scientists have found. 

If you want to be employed after uni, study music...

2012's recession-busting graduating class at the Royal Academy of Music were all employed or in further study within six months of finishing their degree

EDL leader Tommy Robinson, who today said he

Controversy as EDL leader asked to speak at Oxford Union

Tommy Robinson, co-founder and current leader of the English Defence League, has been invited to debate at Oxford Union.

Ann Coffey says she wants a system fit for purpose that protects children

'No mercy' for those who fail to protect children, says Ann Coffey

Chair of the All Party Parliamentary Group for runaway and missing children and adults wants a care system which is 'fit for purpose'

Dentists' charges for check-ups are soaring

The price of a check-up at the dentists can vary by as much as 200 per cent depending on where you live in the country.

(Top row) Akhtar Dogar, Anjum Dogar, Kamar Jamil; (Bottom row) Assad Hussain, Bassam Karrar, Mohammed Karrar and Zeeshan Ahmed

Oxford grooming gang jailed: Dogar and Karrar brothers get life for abuse and rape of young girls

The men, aged between 27 and 38, were found guilty of eight years of offending

Author James Martin dies aged 79

The largest ever donor to Oxford University and “extraordinary intellect” Dr James Martin has died, the university has said.

Sports Direct takes over HMV's flagship store

The flagship Oxford Street store of the fallen music retailer HMV has been snapped up by Mike Ashley, the founder of Sports Direct.

Jason Leech discusses stepping down as project manager

The Apprentice 2013: Jason Leech in the firing line after bungled matchmaking challenge

Jason Leech was fired from The Apprentice after he failed to win the heart of Lord Sugar over a bungled matchmaking challenge.

1986/87
Alex Ferguson was appointed Manchester United manager on 6 November 1986 and lost his first game in charge against underdogs Oxford United. United would only manage one away win in the whole season. Having been 21st and second from bottom when he took over, he guided them to an 11th place finish at the end of the campaign.

Sir Alex Ferguson's first Manchester United team sheet to be sold at auction

Handwritten side expected to fetch between £2,000 and £3,000

Three men arrested after Oxford guest house raided in child sex abuse investigation

Police investigating the sexual abuse of children in Oxford have arrested three men after raiding a guest house used regularly by a paedophile ring operating in the city.

Three men held by police investigating child sex ring allegations

Three men have been arrested by police investigating an alleged paedophile ring which led to vulnerable schoolgirls being drugged, raped and sold into prostitution.

A beautician at work in Coco Nail Bar in Portobello Road, west London, which offers 222 shades of varnish

Manicure mania: The business that nailed the beauty boom

As the high street suffers, the growing market for glamour has given one trade a remarkable lift

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Contestants during this summer's Celebrity Big Brother grand finale
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New look: Zellweger at Elle's Women in Hollywood awards on Monday
voicesRenée Zellweger's real crime has been to age in an industry that prizes women's youth over humanity, says Amanda Hess
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Russell Brand arriving for the book launch in East London
peopleRussell Brand cancels his book launch debate due to concerns about the make-up of the panel
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Christiano Ronaldo enjoys his opening goal
champions leagueLiverpool 0 Real Madrid 3: Ronaldo and Benzema run Reds ragged to avenge thrashing from their last visit to Anfield
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Awesome foursome: Sam Smith shows off his awards
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Sir Nicholas Serota has been a feature in the Power 100 top ten since its 2002 launch
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Prices correct as of 17 October 2014
How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?
Meet 'Porridge' and 'Vampire': Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker

Lost in translation: Western monikers

Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker. Simon Usborne, who met a 'Porridge' and a 'Vampire' while in China, can see the problem
Handy hacks that make life easier: New book reveals how to rid your inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone

Handy hacks that make life easier

New book reveals how to rid your email inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone with a loo-roll
KidZania lets children try their hands at being a firefighter, doctor or factory worker for the day

KidZania: It's a small world

The new 'educational entertainment experience' in London's Shepherd's Bush will allow children to try out the jobs that are usually undertaken by adults, including firefighter, doctor or factory worker
Renée Zellweger's real crime has been to age in an industry that prizes women's youth over humanity

'Renée Zellweger's real crime was to age'

The actress's altered appearance raised eyebrows at Elle's Women in Hollywood awards on Monday
From Cinderella to The Jungle Book, Disney plans live-action remakes of animated classics

Disney plans live-action remakes of animated classics

From Cinderella to The Jungle Book, Patrick Grafton-Green wonders if they can ever recapture the old magic
Thousands of teenagers to visit battlefields of the First World War in new Government scheme

Pupils to visit First World War battlefields

A new Government scheme aims to bring the the horrors of the conflict to life over the next five years
The 10 best smartphone accessories

Make the most of your mobile: 10 best smartphone accessories

Try these add-ons for everything from secret charging to making sure you never lose your keys again
Mario Balotelli substituted at half-time against Real Madrid: Was this shirt swapping the real reason?

Liverpool v Real Madrid

Mario Balotelli substituted at half-time. Was shirt swapping the real reason?
West Indies tour of India: Hurricane set to sweep Windies into the shadows

Hurricane set to sweep Windies into the shadows

Decision to pull out of India tour leaves the WICB fighting for its existence with an off-field storm building
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
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Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?