Arts and Entertainment Sam Faiers will not be joining the I'm A Celebrity jungle after rumours suggested she would be

The Only Way Is Essex star will not join her ex-fiancé in the jungle after all

Music: You need to work on a lot more than your abs, Peter

Poor Peter Andre, he had it all: tight abs, cheeky grin and a million

I work for: Peter Andre

Nigel Battley is personal assistant to the singer.

Pop: Top 10 singles

1 (1) Barbie Girl Aqua

You are (probably) still gay if you ...

Mirror, mirror: every day it gets a little harder to know if you're gay or not. Camp? Children's TV does it better than Julian Clary. Culture- defining harbingers of polymorphous perversity and gender abdication? Please: the nation has the Teletubbies. Red ribbons? Too passe. Signs and signifiers once thought fixed are going, going, gone. So don't be surprised if this last gasp list becomes either out-of-date or, indeed, wholly redundant long before you reach the end.

Weeks best sellers charts

TOP FILMS

Review: MULTI-MEDIA Meltdown `Rescue' Gala Royal Festival Hall, SBC, London

Charity galas are always a bit overwhelmingly hagiarchical, and the closing event of Laurie Anderson's Meltdown festival, held in aid of War Child, was no exception. Anderson herself described the evening as "a dream-come-true marathon of many of my musical heroes". From Lou Reed to Philip Glass, Robert Wilson to Bill T Jones, it was quite a line- up, even before surprise appearances by Salman Rushdie and Michael Nyman.

Sads, mads and le lad

Antoine de Caunes (new beard and all) gets serious about trash with Serena Mackesy

Eternal: the spice-free girls of soul

ROCK

I've quelled my pension fear; the green phlegm will get me before the week ends, anyway

It's been an excellent week for illness. Everybody's at it. Illness has, at least temporarily, replaced how well Ewan McGregor fits his jeans as number one conversational topic in the tapas bars. This bug going around has been a blessing in disguise; February is such a dull month and now we have a drama to share. Everyone has a special symptom of their own to contribute to the sum of human knowledge.

Pop: 'I'll sing about love till I'm 45 and fat'

Stephen Jones is a saucy lyricist who says he's never written about sex. But as Matthew Collings discovers, his band, BabyBird, are a mass of powerful and ironic contradictions

Jonathan King calls for boycott of Brit awards

A boycott of the premier rock music awards, the Brits, has been called by one of the leading music celebrities, Jonathan King, who is also a former producer and presenter of the awards ceremony.

Pop & Jazz: Singles Chart

1 I Feel You PETER ANDRE

Records: Rock: Spice Girls: Spice (Virgin, CD/LP/tape)

Spice Girls: Spice (Virgin, CD/LP/tape). So how come Take That passed on their boy-band crown to a bunch of girls? It could be because of the hummable choruses (each song has several). It could be because the Spice sisters show more cleavage than Peter Andre. It could even be because of their "girlpower" manifesto, careful as it is not to put off the chaps. But mostly, it's because the Spice Girls go for primary- coloured, raucous, stick-out-your-tongue-and-have-a-laugh-with-your-mates fun. No wonder they're the pop sensation of the year. It's just a shame they sometimes spoil things by languishing in tedious swingbeat, or by swapping spice for all things nice on the execrably drippy "Mama". Spice Girls, good; Mummy's girls, bad. Nicholas Barber

How new brown cow: the return of elocution

A regional accent may earn you street cred, but you won't hear broad brummie or scouse in the boardroom of the Bank of England. Beverley Hopwood on the resurgence of received pronunciation

earthly Robbie deserves an award, too

Robbie Williams: he's come a long way, but he's not too sure where he's been. Hotel rooms can do that to you. Where the Boy Who Killed Take That was on Thursday was presenting the MTV Europe Music Awards, bless his velvet suit and plimsolls, and he was jolly brave about it. His feet wobbled nervously all night, but he got through. No wonder he's been wearing that straitjacket on the telly the last couple of weeks. Drink and drugs hell? Pre-publicity, love.
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The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

Sony suffered a chorus of disapproval after it withdrew 'The Interview', but it's not too late for it to take a stand, says Joan Smith
From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?

Panto dames: before and after

From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?
Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Booksellers say readers are turning away from dark modern thrillers and back to the golden age of crime writing
Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best,' says founder of JustGiving

Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best'

Ten million of us have used the JustGiving website to donate to good causes. Its co-founder says that being dynamic is as important as being kind
The botanist who hunts for giant trees at Kew Gardens

The man who hunts giants

A Kew Gardens botanist has found 25 new large tree species - and he's sure there are more out there
The 12 ways of Christmas: Spare a thought for those who will be working to keep others safe during the festive season

The 12 ways of Christmas

We speak to a dozen people who will be working to keep others safe, happy and healthy over the holidays
Birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends, new study shows

The male exhibits strange behaviour

A new study shows that birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends...
Diaries of Evelyn Waugh, Virginia Woolf and Noël Coward reveal how they coped with the December blues

Famous diaries: Christmas week in history

Noël Coward parties into the night, Alan Clark bemoans the cost of servants, Evelyn Waugh ponders his drinking…
From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

The great tradition of St Paul and Zola reached its nadir with a hungry worker's rant to Russell Brand, says DJ Taylor
A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore: A prodigal daughter has a breakthrough

A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore

The story was published earlier this month in 'Poor Souls' Light: Seven Curious Tales'
Marian Keyes: The author on her pre-approved Christmas, true love's parking implications and living in the moment

Marian Keyes

The author on her pre-approved Christmas, true love's parking implications and living in the moment
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef creates an Italian-inspired fish feast for Christmas Eve

Bill Granger's Christmas Eve fish feast

Bill's Italian friends introduced him to the Roman Catholic custom of a lavish fish supper on Christmas Eve. Here, he gives the tradition his own spin…
Liverpool vs Arsenal: Brendan Rodgers is fighting for his reputation

Rodgers fights for his reputation

Liverpool manager tries to stay on his feet despite waves of criticism
Amir Khan: 'The Taliban can threaten me but I must speak out... innocent kids, killed over nothing. It’s sick in the mind'

Amir Khan attacks the Taliban

'They can threaten me but I must speak out... innocent kids, killed over nothing. It’s sick in the mind'
Michael Calvin: Sepp Blatter is my man of the year in sport. Bring on 2015, quick

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Sepp Blatter is my man of the year in sport. Bring on 2015, quick