1. Tsar Nicholas I of Russia's description of the failing Ottoman Empire – used of many countries since – was what?

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All the fun of the flares

THE BLACK CROWES SHEPHERD'S BUSH EMPIRE LONDON

First Night: Wrinkly wonders of rock on a roll

The Rolling Stones Murrayfield Edinburgh

Questionnaire: George Salmond, Scotland's World Cup cricket Captain

Do Scotland deserve to be 500-1 outsiders for the World Cup?

Desert Island Mowlam's choice

WHEN POLITICIANS go on Desert Island Discs, they try to select a choice of records that reveals a more human side. Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Mo Mowlam chooses a top eight that hints at a sharper humour than some colleagues. (Tony Blair chose Bruce Springsteen's Fourth of July and Neil Kinnock opted for John Lennon's Imagine.)

Why are they famous: Rachel Hunter

Main claim

News monkey; A simian slant on last week's news

t HOSPITAL CRISIS. The NHS is either coping perfectly well with the winter rush or falling apart at the seams, your point of view largely depending on whether you're Frank Dobson or everybody else. In what amounts to a kind of millennium bug dry-run, a flu outbreak combined with a record shortage of nurses has led to some hospitals asking relatives to nurse their own kin. If the shortage gets any worse the NHS may have to rethink its official resistance to the hiring of crazy people who think they are nurses.

Do ya think I'm sixty?

Rachel Hunter's decision to leave her husband Rod Stewart in order to `find herself' is another poignant reminder of the plight of the ageing rock star.

Football: Stonehouse rock of ages

A journeyman footballer is about to reach an all-time league appearance milestone. FIRST NIGHT; Graeme armstrong

Pop: Rod Stewart, cool? Well, almost...

ROD STEWART

Pop: Five Arena shows

1

The Saturday Profile: Rod Stewart, Rock Star: Do ya still think I'm sexy?

IT'S SUMMER 1971, and I am with my father at Brands Hatch, the noisy shrine to Formula One motor racing. In the parking lot, two lanes of cars are heading for the exit when their procession is halted by a couple of tough-looking bouncers. They stand before the lead Toyota, extending their hands like traffic policemen, then wave a spectacular yellow Lamborghini Miura through the gates. The queue re-starts. We drive out. And exactly 100 yards up the road, we encounter the canary-hued Italian passion-wagon again, parked on the grass verge. Standing beside it, drinking champagne, oblivious to our staring eyes, is a skinny oik with a large nose, a shiny yellow satin suit and a blonde-goddess girlfriend. Rod Stewart and Dee Harrington have decided that, rather than sit in a traffic jam, they'll while away half an hour with vintage Krug and a little light posing.

Pop: Simply blue

SIMPLY RED

Pop: It's raining on Mike's parade

MIKE OLDFIELD TUBULAR BELLS 3 HORSE GUARDS PARADE LONDON

Folk: Two godfathers of fingerpicking

WIZZ JONES AND JOHN RENBOURN FAMOUS GROUSE HOUSE, EDINBURGH
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National archives: Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them

Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them

Newly unearthed papers reveal a shocking extra dimension to the constitutional crisis over monarch’s abdication
Sent down at the Old Bailey: A tour of the world's most famous court

Sent down at the Old Bailey

A tour of the world's most famous court
Hollywood's random acts of red-carpet kindness

Hollywood's random acts of red-carpet kindness

The Hangover actor Zach Galifianakis’s date for his movie premieres isn’t arm candy  – it’s his 87-year-old friend who he saved from homelessness
British football scores an own goal

British football scores an own goal

Many managers barely survive a year in post. Martin Baker talks to experts who make a case for clubs using forensic business skills to find the best staff
James Lawton: Sergio Garcia cracks as major fault line opens up again

James Lawton

Sergio Garcia cracks as major fault line opens up again
Dylan Hartley: Northampton have spent the season proving all our critics wrong

Dylan Hartley talks tough

Northampton have spent the season proving all our critics wrong
Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

A meeting of global power brokers in a Hertfordshire hotel is exciting conspiracy theorists, but what are they really about?
'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system': Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console

'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system'

Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console
Plenty of Fish dating site founder pulls 'Intimate Encounters' option to ward off sleazy men

Plenty of sleaze

Dating website pulls intimate 'hook-up' section to curb harassment
Inferno author Dan Brown 'honoured' to be invited to join the Freemasons

The Freemasons’ Code

Dan Brown reveals the message that told him door to the lodge is open
Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Nick Buckles survived the Olympics débâcle and a £5bn bid fiasco but a profit warning finally triggered his downfall
How to say ‘I’m a sellout’: Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar

How to say ‘I’m a sellout’

Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar
Why clubs are keen to take a stand

Why clubs are keen to take a stand

There's a real desire around the grounds for safe standing. But will the authorities listen?
In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

Disillusion with a siege mentality and negative playing style made change inevitable
James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

British driver was fascinating man whose epic duel with Niki Lauda in 1976 was typical of an era of glamour and glory – but also the ever-present threat of death