News Dr Leah Totton, right, alongside Apprentice mentor Karren Brady

The first cosmetic skin clinic launched by last year’s winner of The Apprentice, in partnership with Lord Sugar, has opened its doors

Brian Viner: What happened to 'Are you being served'?

The BBC2 series Michel Roux's Service, like The Apprentice for waiters and waitresses, ended last night. I dipped in and out, and enjoyed what I watched, though it will take more than masterful Michel to dilute the cocktail of surliness, ignorance and apathy that these days passes for service in far too many of Britain's restaurants, hotels, shops and anywhere else where staff and customers come into direct contact.

Apprentice contestant avoids jail

A former contestant in Lord Sugar's hit The Apprentice was given a suspended sentence for fraud today.

Kieran & the Joes in Success: a Success Story, Leicester Square Theatre, London

Three young men wearing white shirts and ties acting out themed scenes while their relationship dynamic changes through petty jealousies and annoyances sounds par for the course for the sketch genre, but there's enough of a twinkle in the eyes of performers Kieran Hodgson, Joe Parham and Joe Markham, and in the lines crafted by the cast and co-writer Tom Meltzer, that make this show a little above the average fare.

Cultural Life: Rhod Gilbert, comedian

Comedy: I haven't seen much since I work evenings most of the time. At the Edinburgh Festival I saw a friend of mine, Greg Davies, whose show was wonderful, and also my eternal favourite, Paul Foot. He's a comedy genius, one of the funniest things I've seen. Sublime, original and brilliant.

Lord Sugar fails to impress in House

As Lord Sugar of Clapton serves his apprenticeship in the House of Lords, records show he has voted only three times in the past year.

And The Apprentice is ... Stella

Stella English left school without any qualifications. Sixteen years later, the 31-year-old woman, who has two children, has won the sixth series of the BBC contest The Apprentice.

Dirk Gently, BBC4, Thursday<br/>The Apprentice, BBC1, Wednesday

Douglas Adams' 1980s crime caper was set in the present, but you wouldn't know it from the jokes

Last Night's TV: Mad and Bad: 60 Years of Science on TV/BBC4<br />The Apprentice/BBC1

All secular societies are ruled by repressed religion. Faith in the supernatural and godly has receded in modern times, but it has been replaced by faith in a different idol: progress. The cult of progress, like the religions that went before, sees history as rectilinear and purposeful, and as a moral drama whose final act is salvation. In religion, salvation comes from death and heaven. In secular terms, it comes from science. We think science can save us from ourselves, by eradicating the causes of human conflict and suffering. But it can't, and won't.

Last Night's TV: The Apprentice/BBC1<br />Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas/Channel 4

I don't know exactly when last night's episode of The Apprentice was filmed but, as pleasant as the weather appeared to be, it wasn't a good day to be a London tourist. The remaining contestants – just six of them now – had been invited to set up rival bus tours, thus exposing the less wary foreign visitor to the full range of their incompetence, ignorance and financial rapacity. "It's like walking into a room full of knives blindfolded, not knowing how badly you're going to get cut," Stuart had said on the way to the briefing, a characterisation of his own haplessness that applied with equal force to his unsuspecting customers.

Mya Lacarte 5 Prospect Street, Caversham, Reading, Berkshire

Has this 'Apprentice' winner picked up enough of Lord Sugar's nous to turn a bad pun into a boardroom hit?

Business Diary: Tax campaigners target Sir Philip

Anyone planning on a spot of retail therapy this weekend might encounter a little difficulty in shops owned by the Arcadia empire of Sir Philip Green. The retail mogul is to be the nexttarget of UKuncut, the campaign launched earlier this year against tax avoidance, which is angry about the way in which Sir Philip's family have arranged their financial affairs (specifically the fact the business is owned by Lady Green and other family, who live in Monaco). Having already staged protests outside Vodafone stores, UKuncut plans to target outlets such as Topshop and Miss Selfridge this Saturday.

Last Night's TV: Fry and Laurie Reunited/Gold<br />The Apprentice/BBC1

A rare and sumptuous treat," promised the makers of Fry and Laurie Reunited at the beginning of Gold's celebration of a comedy double act that (unusually as these things generally go) gave rise to two very successful solo careers. And they were right, really, though you had to scrape off an astounding amount of adulatory Dream Topping and sprinkles before you got at the good stuff. Some of the gush was knowingly over the top (Emma Thompson talking of a "colossus" bestriding "this business we call show"). Some of it unnervingly seemed to be in earnest ("They're so brilliant... they're so untouchably amazing," Ben Miller). And none of it was exactly being underplayed by anyone – except for Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson – one-time painters and decorators to Fry and Laurie and, apparently, eventual purchasers of their first house in Dalton. "They didn't inspire us at all!" grumbled Whitehouse, mercifully giving us a break from saccharine and whipped-cream substitute.

Last Night's TV: The Apprentice/BBC1<br />Edwardian Farm/BBC2

I have to tell you I ain't putting up with him for much longer," said Lord Sugar in the very first episode of the current series of The Apprentice. He was talking about Baggs the Brand, gratingly self-regarding even by this programme's exacting standards for cocky self-love. As it turned out, though, Lord Sugar has had to put up with him for six long weeks, which may have been why he made him a project manager for last night's episode. He doesn't have any means of guaranteeing that someone ends up in the boardroom, after all, but he can at least shorten the odds a bit. Up against Baggs the Brand was Sandeesh of the Scary, Starey Eyes, the two of them competing to see who could most successfully sell novelty back-projection DVDs to London shoppers.

Sport
Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi during Barcelona training in August
footballPete Jenson co-ghost wrote Suarez’s autobiography and reveals how desperate he's been to return
News
newsMcKamey Manor says 'there is no escape until the tour is completed'
Voices
Hunted: A stag lies dead on Jura, where David Cameron holidays and has himself stalked deer
voicesThe Scotland I know is becoming a playground for the rich
News
people
Arts and Entertainment
Architect Frank Gehry is regarded by many as the most important architect of the modern era
arts + entsGehry has declared that 98 per cent of modern architecture is "s**t"
Money
Welcome to tinsel town: retailers such as Selfridges will be Santa's little helpers this Christmas, working hard to persuade shoppers to stock up on gifts
news
Arts and Entertainment
Soul singer Sam Smith cleared up at the Mobo awards this week
newsSam Smith’s Mobo triumph is just the latest example of a trend
News
Laurence Easeman and Russell Brand
people
Career Services

Day In a Page

Independent Travel
Vietnam & Cambodia
Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Bruges
India & Nepal
Japan
Berlin, Dresden, Meissen & Colditz
Prices correct as of 17 October 2014
Wilko Johnson, now the bad news: musician splits with manager after police investigate assault claims

Wilko Johnson, now the bad news

Former Dr Feelgood splits with manager after police investigate assault claims
Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands ahead of the US midterm elections

Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands

The Senator for Colorado is for gay rights, for abortion rights – and in the Republicans’ sights as they threaten to take control of the Senate next month
New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

Evidence found of contact between Easter Islanders and South America
Cerys Matthews reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of Dylan Thomas

Cerys Matthews on Dylan Thomas

The singer reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of the famous Welsh poet
DIY is not fun and we've finally realised this as a nation

Homebase closures: 'DIY is not fun'

Homebase has announced the closure of one in four of its stores. Nick Harding, who never did know his awl from his elbow, is glad to see the back of DIY
The Battle of the Five Armies: Air New Zealand releases new Hobbit-inspired in-flight video

Air New Zealand's wizard in-flight video

The airline has released a new Hobbit-inspired clip dubbed "The most epic safety video ever made"
Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month - but can you stomach the sweetness?

Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month

The combination of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg (and no actual pumpkin), now flavours everything from lattes to cream cheese in the US
11 best sonic skincare brushes

11 best sonic skincare brushes

Forget the flannel - take skincare to the next level by using your favourite cleanser with a sonic facial brush
Paul Scholes column: I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo

Paul Scholes column

I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Jones and Rojo
Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

While other sports are stalked by corruption, we are an easy target for the critics
Jamie Roberts exclusive interview: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Jamie Roberts: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Wales centre says he’s not coming home but is looking to establish himself at Racing Métro
How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?
Meet 'Porridge' and 'Vampire': Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker

Lost in translation: Western monikers

Chinese state TV is offering advice for citizens picking a Western moniker. Simon Usborne, who met a 'Porridge' and a 'Vampire' while in China, can see the problem
Handy hacks that make life easier: New book reveals how to rid your inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone

Handy hacks that make life easier

New book reveals how to rid your email inbox of spam, protect your passwords and amplify your iPhone with a loo-roll
KidZania lets children try their hands at being a firefighter, doctor or factory worker for the day

KidZania: It's a small world

The new 'educational entertainment experience' in London's Shepherd's Bush will allow children to try out the jobs that are usually undertaken by adults, including firefighter, doctor or factory worker