News Dr Leah Totton, right, alongside Apprentice mentor Karren Brady

The first cosmetic skin clinic launched by last year’s winner of The Apprentice, in partnership with Lord Sugar, has opened its doors

Brian Viner: What happened to 'Are you being served'?

The BBC2 series Michel Roux's Service, like The Apprentice for waiters and waitresses, ended last night. I dipped in and out, and enjoyed what I watched, though it will take more than masterful Michel to dilute the cocktail of surliness, ignorance and apathy that these days passes for service in far too many of Britain's restaurants, hotels, shops and anywhere else where staff and customers come into direct contact.

Apprentice contestant avoids jail

A former contestant in Lord Sugar's hit The Apprentice was given a suspended sentence for fraud today.

Kieran & the Joes in Success: a Success Story, Leicester Square Theatre, London

Three young men wearing white shirts and ties acting out themed scenes while their relationship dynamic changes through petty jealousies and annoyances sounds par for the course for the sketch genre, but there's enough of a twinkle in the eyes of performers Kieran Hodgson, Joe Parham and Joe Markham, and in the lines crafted by the cast and co-writer Tom Meltzer, that make this show a little above the average fare.

Cultural Life: Rhod Gilbert, comedian

Comedy: I haven't seen much since I work evenings most of the time. At the Edinburgh Festival I saw a friend of mine, Greg Davies, whose show was wonderful, and also my eternal favourite, Paul Foot. He's a comedy genius, one of the funniest things I've seen. Sublime, original and brilliant.

Lord Sugar fails to impress in House

As Lord Sugar of Clapton serves his apprenticeship in the House of Lords, records show he has voted only three times in the past year.

And The Apprentice is ... Stella

Stella English left school without any qualifications. Sixteen years later, the 31-year-old woman, who has two children, has won the sixth series of the BBC contest The Apprentice.

Dirk Gently, BBC4, Thursday<br/>The Apprentice, BBC1, Wednesday

Douglas Adams' 1980s crime caper was set in the present, but you wouldn't know it from the jokes

Last Night's TV: Mad and Bad: 60 Years of Science on TV/BBC4<br />The Apprentice/BBC1

All secular societies are ruled by repressed religion. Faith in the supernatural and godly has receded in modern times, but it has been replaced by faith in a different idol: progress. The cult of progress, like the religions that went before, sees history as rectilinear and purposeful, and as a moral drama whose final act is salvation. In religion, salvation comes from death and heaven. In secular terms, it comes from science. We think science can save us from ourselves, by eradicating the causes of human conflict and suffering. But it can't, and won't.

Last Night's TV: The Apprentice/BBC1<br />Kirstie and Phil's Perfect Christmas/Channel 4

I don't know exactly when last night's episode of The Apprentice was filmed but, as pleasant as the weather appeared to be, it wasn't a good day to be a London tourist. The remaining contestants – just six of them now – had been invited to set up rival bus tours, thus exposing the less wary foreign visitor to the full range of their incompetence, ignorance and financial rapacity. "It's like walking into a room full of knives blindfolded, not knowing how badly you're going to get cut," Stuart had said on the way to the briefing, a characterisation of his own haplessness that applied with equal force to his unsuspecting customers.

Mya Lacarte 5 Prospect Street, Caversham, Reading, Berkshire

Has this 'Apprentice' winner picked up enough of Lord Sugar's nous to turn a bad pun into a boardroom hit?

Business Diary: Tax campaigners target Sir Philip

Anyone planning on a spot of retail therapy this weekend might encounter a little difficulty in shops owned by the Arcadia empire of Sir Philip Green. The retail mogul is to be the nexttarget of UKuncut, the campaign launched earlier this year against tax avoidance, which is angry about the way in which Sir Philip's family have arranged their financial affairs (specifically the fact the business is owned by Lady Green and other family, who live in Monaco). Having already staged protests outside Vodafone stores, UKuncut plans to target outlets such as Topshop and Miss Selfridge this Saturday.

Last Night's TV: Fry and Laurie Reunited/Gold<br />The Apprentice/BBC1

A rare and sumptuous treat," promised the makers of Fry and Laurie Reunited at the beginning of Gold's celebration of a comedy double act that (unusually as these things generally go) gave rise to two very successful solo careers. And they were right, really, though you had to scrape off an astounding amount of adulatory Dream Topping and sprinkles before you got at the good stuff. Some of the gush was knowingly over the top (Emma Thompson talking of a "colossus" bestriding "this business we call show"). Some of it unnervingly seemed to be in earnest ("They're so brilliant... they're so untouchably amazing," Ben Miller). And none of it was exactly being underplayed by anyone – except for Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson – one-time painters and decorators to Fry and Laurie and, apparently, eventual purchasers of their first house in Dalton. "They didn't inspire us at all!" grumbled Whitehouse, mercifully giving us a break from saccharine and whipped-cream substitute.

Last Night's TV: The Apprentice/BBC1<br />Edwardian Farm/BBC2

I have to tell you I ain't putting up with him for much longer," said Lord Sugar in the very first episode of the current series of The Apprentice. He was talking about Baggs the Brand, gratingly self-regarding even by this programme's exacting standards for cocky self-love. As it turned out, though, Lord Sugar has had to put up with him for six long weeks, which may have been why he made him a project manager for last night's episode. He doesn't have any means of guaranteeing that someone ends up in the boardroom, after all, but he can at least shorten the odds a bit. Up against Baggs the Brand was Sandeesh of the Scary, Starey Eyes, the two of them competing to see who could most successfully sell novelty back-projection DVDs to London shoppers.

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Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
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Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

Poldark star Heida Reed

'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn