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Potato chips. In the 1800s in New York, a customer at a restaurant sent back French fries because they were too thick. The cook made thinner ones that the customer still thought were too thick. Exasperated, the chef made ones that were exceedingly thin to piss off the customer... who loved them.

Love and Other Drugs (15) 1/5, The Way Back (12A) 2/5

Smut and suffering: do not mix

Female sexual dysfunction 'was invented by drugs industry'

Female sexual dysfunction – which is claimed to affect up to two thirds of women – is a disorder invented by the pharmaceutical industry to build global markets for drugs to treat it, it is claimed today.

Leading article: Sexing up medicine

The suggestion that 43 per cent of women are suffering from sexual dysfunction is bound to raise a few prurient headlines. But there is one group of people even more interested in the subject than newspapers. They are the drug companies who use such statistics to raise interest in the possibilities of pharmaceutical solutions. It is revealing that such statistics often come from scientists in the pay of that industry. Perhaps that's why there are so many such surveys around. Some suggest that the number of women affected may be as high as 63 per cent. One of the standard techniques of the modern drugs industry is medicalising conditions and creating new diseases – as they have done with pre-hypertension, pre-diabetes and pre-osteoporosis. This is a trend with which society should not collude.

GPs 'should talk more about sex'

Doctors should routinely ask their patients during medical consultations if they have any sexual concerns, the British Society for Sexual Medicine (BSSM) said yesterday, as the question could give clinicians an early warning of other health problems which the patient may be suffering but could also help to tackle social issues like relationship breakdown.

Doctors call for more sexual health consultations

Men and women should be routinely asked during medical consultations if they have any sexual concerns, the British Society for Sexual Medicine (BSSM) said today.

£4m of fake goods seized at Heathrow

Almost £4m of counterfeit goods were seized at Heathrow Airport in the last three months, the UK Border Agency (UKBA) said yesterday.

Rob Schneider, Udderbelly, South Bank, London

This year, visiting American comedians have included Jim Gaffigan, who had a short but excellent stint at The Shaw Theatre, while the equally superb Marc Maron will play the Soho Theatre later this month. With the good must, inevitably, come the not-so-good – represented here by Rob Schneider, stand-up and star of knockabout movies such as Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Grown Ups and The Hot Chick and a former Saturday Night Live regular.

Baby 'a gift from God', says father aged 79

A pensioner reported to be Britain's oldest new father told of becoming a parent for the seventh time, at 78 - with a woman 54 years his junior.

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: Where has all the love gone?

The burning flame of passionate mutuality is burning out as people obsessively chase ratings in the mating game

Our Family Wedding (12A)

If you think that title sounds bland, wait till you see the movie.

First the healthcare victory, now come the death threats

Supporters targeted as Congress wrestles over final details of landmark reform

Holy Water (15)

This jolly Irish heartwarmer is a close descendant of Waking Ned, with a slightly more risqué plotline.

Love life flagging? Then try pork, like the president

They won't be swapping their bottles of Chimichurri for jars of mustard and apple sauce quite yet, and they can still wash dinner down with a nice Malbec, but the people of Argentina are being asked to experiment with a new addition to the national diet: pork.

FA deny England players will take Viagra

The Football Association has denied England are considering taking Viagra to help cope with playing at altitude at the World Cup in South Africa next year.

World Cup in brief: 'We need to respect the other teams but we are confident' says sleepy Rooney

Wayne Rooney has revealed he missed the World Cup draw, because he fell asleep. Manchester United had travelled down to the capital ahead of Saturday's match at West Ham, arriving in their London hotel in good time for the draw.

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The Doctor and Clara have their first real heart to heart since he regenerated in 'Deep Breath'
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footballMan City vs Burnley match report
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Man of action: Christian Bale stars in Exodus: Gods and Kings
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Ernesto Che Guevara and Fidel Castro, right, met at Havana Golf Club in 1962 to mock the game
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Independent Travel
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – Five-star MS Swiss Corona 7 nights from £999pp
Lake Como St Moritz & the Bernina Express 7 nights from £809pp
Vietnam
Lake Maggiore, Orta & the Matterhorn 7 nights from £939pp
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Prices correct as of 19 December 2014
A timely reminder of the bloody anniversary we all forgot

A timely reminder of the bloody anniversary we all forgot

Who remembers that this week we enter the 150th anniversary year of the end of the American Civil War, asks Robert Fisk
Downfall of Dustin 'Screech' Diamond, the 'Saved By The Bell' star charged with bar stabbing

Scarred by the bell

The downfall of the TV star charged with bar stabbing
Why 2014 was a year of technological let-downs

Why 2014 was a year of technological let-downs

Security breaches and overhyped start-ups dominated a year in which very little changed (save the size of your phone)
Cuba's golf revolution: But will the revolutionary nation take 'bourgeois' game to its heart?

Will revolutionary Cuba take 'bourgeois' golf to its heart?

Fidel Castro ridiculed the game – but now investment in leisure resort projects is welcome
The Locked Room Mysteries: As a new collection of the genre’s best is published, its editor Otto Penzler explains the rules of engagement

The Locked Room Mysteries

As a new collection of the genre’s best is published, its editor explains the rules of engagement
Amy Adams on playing painter Margaret Keane in Tim Burton's Big Eyes

How I made myself Keane

Amy Adams hadn’t wanted to take the role of artist Margaret Keane, because she’d had enough of playing victims. But then she had a daughter, and saw the painter in a new light
Ed Richards: Parting view of Ofcom chief. . . we hate jokes on the disabled

Parting view of Ofcom chief... we hate jokes on the disabled

Bad language once got TV viewers irate, inciting calls to broadcasting switchboards. But now there is a worse offender, says retiring head of the media watchdog, Ed Richards
A look back at fashion in 2014: Wear in review

Wear in review

A look back at fashion in 2014
Ian Herbert: My 10 hopes for sport in 2015. Might just one of them happen?

Ian Herbert: My 10 hopes for sport in 2015

Might just one of them happen?
War with Isis: The West needs more than a White Knight

The West needs more than a White Knight

Despite billions spent on weapons, the US has not been able to counter Isis's gruesome tactics, says Patrick Cockburn
Return to Helmand: Private Davey Graham recalls the day he was shot by the Taliban

'The day I was shot by the Taliban'

Private Davey Graham was shot five times during an ambush in 2007 - it was the first, controversial photograph to show the dangers our soldiers faced in Helmand province
Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Revealed: the best and worst airlines for delays

Many flyers are failing to claim compensation to which they are entitled, a new survey has found
The stories that defined 2014: From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions

The stories that defined 2014

From the Scottish independence referendum to the Ice Bucket Challenge, our writers voice their opinions
Stoke-on-Trent becomes first British city to be classified as 'disaster resilient' by the United Nations

Disaster looming? Now you know where to head...

Which British city has become the first to be awarded special 'resilience' status by the UN?
Finally, a diet that works: Californian pastor's wildly popular Daniel Plan has seen his congregation greatly reduced

Finally, a diet that works

Californian pastor's wildly popular Daniel Plan has seen his congregation greatly reduced