Angus Deayton with moon-dried tomatoes

Share
Related Topics
Well, you have waited long enough for the answers to our grand Christmas Quiz, and here they are today. Hope you all did well!

1. Yes.

2. No.

3. Y-e-e-es, maybe.

4. Possibly, Lord Copper.

5. The odd man out is Michael Portillo. All the rest are politicians.

6. Old-fashioned instrument used for getting ostrich eggs out of ostriches.

7. a) HG Wells. b) GF Wells. c) FE Wells. d) Tunbridge Wells.

8. Beverley Minster is not, in fact, a girl's name.

9. It is a new TV programme aimed at bringing emergency help to people like Esther Rantzen.

10. They were built from a design based on Janet Street-Porter's teeth.

11. Clunes.

12. Clones.

13. Clunies.

14. Clowns.

15. Old-fashioned instrument designed to get large humbugs and pieces of liquorice out of small boys.

16. A film called Martini on the Bounty.

17. The odd man out is Jeffrey Archer. All the rest are writers.

18. The name given by supermarket workers to objects to which labels will never stick, no matter how adhesive.

19. The meaning of "widget" before it came to mean a device in beer cans.

20. The odd one out is McDonald's. All the rest are restaurants.

21. It is the name given by psychologists to man's inability to agree on which is the last year of the century.

22. The ancient motto of the Rampliffe family. In English it means "Worship the Lord and keep your receipts".

23. Prozac.

24. Anzac.

25. A German word, meaning "Zeitgeist".

26. A now discredited theory that the universe began with a big bang, a drum roll, a sudden hush and the appearance of God with scissors to cut the ribbon.

27. It is the name given by psychologists to our habit of cheerily waving to and greeting familiar people in the street, and only realising later that they weren't old friends - they were someone famous, such as Angus Deayton.

28. The three most often told so-called funny stories in Britain end as follows:-

a) "Nein, double u".

b) "My sister? Oh, she is still Queen."

c) "That's easy - Goethe wrote Faust and Joyce wrote Ulysses."

29. It is a word applied to things that seem to be eponyms, but aren't. In other words, words which suggest that things are named after people, though they really aren't, such as billboard, jackknife, martingale, etc.

30. A film called Matinee on the Bounty.

31. An old-fashioned device for removing false moustaches from inside violins.

32. Kind of Scottish rock cake known traditionally as the Auld Scone of Stone.

33. The only countries in which it is a crime to use a mobile phone in a train.

34. The name given by the police to the act of sending obscene faxes.

35. Arsenal, in 1949, in white shorts and red shirts. They were found two weeks later, apparently unharmed but totally dazed and unable to remember what had happened to them.

36. A slang term used by Martians to refer to one of their number who has lived for over 10 years on Earth without attracting suspicion or being fired by John Major.

37. Because when Emma Nicholson leaves the Tory party, it is called "defecting", but when Mr Portillo tries to leave Europe, it is called "safeguarding our sacred national unity".

38. It is a term given by supermarket workers to the informal supermarket trolleys races that are often held by supermarket workers after hours, when the shops are shut and the aisles are invitingly empty. (The trolleys often suffer damage in these races and hereafter only steer to the left or the right, though the general public never suspects the true cause of this commonly noticed defect. )

39. A term given by psychologists to the way in which famous people like Angus Deayton will ignore greetings offered to them in the street, and only realise five minutes later, with a shock, that that person offering a courteous "Hello" was actually Paul Merton.

40. A film called Monotony on the Bounty.

41. The odd man out is Brian Mawhinney. All the rest are doctors.

42. Freckles peculiar to a camel.

43. The form of Morse code used by deaf people.

44. The act of writing the life of Boswell.

45. An Irish health warning.

46. A secret sign used by dentists to recognise each other.

47. Moon-dried tomatoes.

48. A film called Botany on the Mountie.

React Now

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Legal Cashier - Oxford

Very Competitive: Austen Lloyd: Legal Cashier - Oxford We have an excellent ...

Legal Cashier - Oxford

Very Competitive: Austen Lloyd: Legal Cashier - Oxford We have an excellent ...

Production and Merchandising Assistant

£19,000 - £21,000: Sauce Recruitment: A contemporary, original wholesale distr...

PPC Account Managers

£25k - £30k (DOE): Guru Careers: Two expert PPC Account Managers are needed to...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

The daily catch-up: Joe on Vlad, banks of the Jordan and Blair's radicalism

John Rentoul
 

Believe me, I said, there’s nothing rural about this urban borough’s attempt at a country fair

John Walsh
Some are reformed drug addicts. Some are single mums. All are on benefits. But now these so-called 'scroungers’ are fighting back

The 'scroungers’ fight back

The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
Amazing video shows Nasa 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action

Fireballs in space

Amazing video shows Nasa's 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action
A Bible for billionaires

A Bible for billionaires

Find out why America's richest men are reading John Brookes
Paranoid parenting is on the rise - and our children are suffering because of it

Paranoid parenting is on the rise

And our children are suffering because of it
For sale: Island where the Magna Carta was sealed

Magna Carta Island goes on sale

Yours for a cool £4m
Phone hacking scandal special report: The slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

The hacker's tale: the slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

Glenn Mulcaire was jailed for six months for intercepting phone messages. James Hanning tells his story in a new book. This is an extract
We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

Child abusers are not all the same, yet the idea of treating them differently in relation to the severity of their crimes has somehow become controversial
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

For instance, did Isis kill the Israeli teenagers to trigger a war, asks Patrick Cockburn
Alistair Carmichael: 'The UK as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts'

Alistair Carmichael: 'The UK as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts'

Meet the man who doesn't want to go down in history as the country's last Scottish Secretary
Legoland Windsor's master model-makers reveal the tricks of their trade (including how to stop the kids wrecking your Eiffel Tower)

Meet the people who play with Lego for a living

They are the master builders: Lego's crack team of model-makers, who have just glued down the last of 650,000 bricks as they recreate Paris in Windsor. Susie Mesure goes behind the scenes
The 20 best days out for the summer holidays: From Spitfires to summer ferry sailings

20 best days out for the summer holidays

From summer ferry sailings in Tyne and Wear and adventure days at Bear Grylls Survival Academy to Spitfires at the Imperial War Museum Duxford and bog-snorkelling at the World Alternative Games...
Open-air theatres: If all the world is a stage, then everyone gets in on the act

All the wood’s a stage

Open-air productions are the cue for better box-office receipts, new audiences, more interesting artistic challenges – and a picnic
Rand Paul is a Republican with an eye on the world

Rupert Cornwell: A Republican with an eye on the world

Rand Paul is laying out his presidential stall by taking on his party's disastrous record on foreign policy
Self-preservation society: Pickles are moving from the side of your plate to become the star dish

Self-preservation society

Pickles are moving from the side of your plate to become the star dish
Generation gap opens a career sinkhole

Britons live ever longer, but still society persists in glorifying youth

We are living longer but considered 'past it' younger, the reshuffle suggests. There may be trouble ahead, says DJ Taylor