Spin me a line.
If I'm ill,
Tell me I'm fine.
Say the same thing
If I'm dyin',
Spin me a line.
JUST ONE of the many modern playground rhymes which seem to be based on modern political reality, as I have found out in my rhyme-collecting in schools round the country. Some of the Labour spin-doctors are even mentioned by name in the odd verse, as in this one:-
Dr Campbell went for a ramble
In a shower of rain.
He shouted and raved
Till the weather behaved
And it never rained again.
It seems extraordinary that Alastair Campbell's legendary rudeness should have percolated through to school children, though it seems to show that education gets through somehow. Indeed, children have their own views on education, as this skipping rhyme demonstrates:-
Homework at morning
Homework at night.
All this homework
Can't be right.
Try this homework
On David Blunkett,
If HE can't do it
We'll just junk it.
I mentioned yesterday a short rhyme about London's new mayor, which prompted one reader to send me this, heard at her local school:-
Oh, who will be boss of London town?
Who will be mayor when the chips are down?
"I," said Ken, "I am the man.
I can rule London if anyone can.
For I was head of the GLC
And everyone remembers me!"
"I," said Jeff, "So please give me
My last chance to make history!
For I was head of the Tory party
And I am rich, and my wife is arty ..."
But when Ken and Jeff had had their say Everybody looked the other way.
All on the left avoided Ken's eye.
All on the right whispered, "Why Jeff? WHY?"
It's nice to see a bit of narrative element in modern playground rhymes, and there's an element of story in the next one too, which seems to be about Tiny Rowland and Mohammed Al Fayed.
Tiny Row had a safe deposit box
In Harrods, where gentlemen buy their socks,
And in this box his secrets lay
And what they were, no one could say
But Harrods belonged to Big Fat Mo
Who (allegedly) longed to know
What Tiny Row had locked away.
And so I'm rather afraid to say
That Big Fat Mo, allegedly,
Got an X-ray scanner to see
(This, we stress, is sub judice,
And belongs to the realm of theory)
Through the walls and right inside
To see what Tiny had got to hide.
All he saw was a billet doux
Saying, "I'm British, unlike you!"
This made Mo as mad as hell,
Saying, "I'll soon be British as well!"
"No," said Tony, "No," said the Queen,
"Being Egyptian's more your scene."
Room for just two more short ones.
Dr Jack banned beef on the bone
Because of a risk
Of a million to one.
Will Dr Jack come smiling through?
No, not by a chance
Of a million to two.
John had a euro,
Shiny new euro,
John had a euro in his hat.
John went shopping
And paid with his euro;
Said the shopman to Johnny:
" 'Ere , what's THAT?"
More one day soon, I hope.Reuse content