Captain Moonlight: Maxwell

MAXWELL: the Musical Revue, the all-singing, all-dancing version of the Gross Man's life, produced by Evan Steadman, a man whose company was bought by Maxwell, opens at the Criterion, Piccadilly Circus, next month. As part of the jollification, Steadman is offering a pounds 1,000 prize for the finest Maxwell anecdote, to be presented on the first night.

Current and old favourite: the man caught smoking by the fiercely anti (for everybody else) Maxwell at the photocopier outside his office. 'How much do you earn a week?' boomed big Bob. ' pounds 250,' replied the man. Bob peeled off the appropriate sum from a wad of notes and told him he was fired. The man left, cock-a- hoop, which was not surprising as he had only come to fix the photocopier. Another one I like is the chap who was paid for a year to put together a technology exhibition. Then Maxwell rejected the scheme. Time passed. Maxwell rang him up. 'I hear you're the technology king,' he said, and hired him to do it all over again. You, of course, may know a better one.