Captain Moonlight's Notebook: Say what you like about . . . Esther Rantzen but:

better still, get your dog to say it

she can be represented by no parsnip/potato/cauliflower or other known vegetable

she gave British television the male bimbo

some double-glazing salesman is bound to agree with you

she didn't have her teeth fixed

you always got the joke (alas)

seriously though . . . she really does care . . . aahh . . .