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Diary: When will Bono and Nick Clegg release their eagerly awaited pop duet?

Our diarist on Clegg and Bono's musical collaboration, the hypocrisy of the Welsh assembly and who's thirstier: Hacks or politicians?

Long after all Nick Clegg’s serious speeches have been forgotten, the nation will continue to enjoy the Nick Clegg Apology Song, by The Poke, which is selling as a charity single and has been watched nearly two million times on YouTube.

The latest person to pay tribute to the Deputy Prime Minister’s chart-busting success is Bono, who went to see him yesterday about Red, the charity that the Irish rock star set up to fight Aids, launched with backing from various leading brands. Every time anyone buys a Red iPod Nano, for instance, Apple donates £5. Bono presented Clegg with an iPod shuffle, which he signed: “Nick, Our Duets Album, Bono.”

“Bono knows another pop star when he sees one,” a senior Liberal Democrat source claimed.

Welsh Assembly’s hypocrisy

In a show of unanimity, Conservative, Labour, and Plaid Cymru members of the Welsh Assembly pressed the buttons on their seats in support of a motion condemning the UK government’s “incompetent” handling of the West Coast main line franchise. Yes, the Welsh Tories were calling their Westminster colleagues ‘incompetent.’ Only, as it turned out, it was they who were being incompetent. They had all pressed the wrong buttons by mistake, so voting for a motion they intended to oppose. They are blaming their whips.

Raising a glass to thirsty hacks

The Sun was pleased with itself yesterday because their photographer caught George Osborne with a glass of bubbly in his hand at a party thrown by The Spectator magazine on the last evening of the Conservative conference. The report names other politicians sighted at the bash. This is a wee bit bare-faced, given that the politicians there were way outnumbered by hacks, not excluding Tom Newton Dunn, Political Editor of The Sun. The person seen chatting to the Chancellor is Ben Brogan, Deputy Editor of the Daily Telegraph. Glass for glass, when the booze is free, hacks will usually out thirsty the politicos.

‘Fabricanting’ witty tweets

“Just noticed a spot on my chin. Hello puberty!! I’ve been waiting a long while...” Michael Fabricant, the 62-year-old Tory MP for Lichfield informed his 4,600 followers yesterday. Is that why Twitter was invented?

Two weddings and a guru

It was widely reported that one of the brains behind David Cameron’s conference speech on Wednesday was his former guru, Steve Hilton, the man behind his original ‘hug a huskie’ makeover, briefly back in the UK from California. But I hear that was not the sole reason for his temporary return, nor even the main reason. He came for the weddings of his former aide, Rohan Silva, who married Australian architect Kate MacTiernan on 29 September, and Tony Blair’s former diary secretary, Kate Garvey, who married Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia, a week later, pictured. Two weddings and a speech.