I pig out every other day, and the weight falls off

Share

Ihave been staying in London all week, because I have been very busy doing promotion work for my new TV show. Have I mentioned this before? Probably not, I'm loath to do something so crass. Being away from home has been particularly tricky because I've started doing a fasting regime every other day.

I started doing it in France, where it was much easier as food tastes good there. On my "fast" days, I can have 600 calories. In France, I would have wonderful watermelon or heavenly white peaches. Back in England, things are not quite so satisfying. You know the old story – tomatoes don't taste the way they do in France, fruit is bland....

The reason this regime works for me is that, on the non-fast days, I can eat and drink whatever I like. I have very strong willpower, but with a short shelf life. This is why this particular regime is brilliant. I can struggle through abstention if I know that when I wake up I can pig out and drink vats of champagne. I go to sleep dreaming of food and dribbling on the pillow about what I'm going to have when I wake up.

Staying in London for the week does make things a lot more difficult. First, there is just so much wonderful grub around. Living in the Cotswolds, we get excited when an Indian restaurant is able to deliver. From my temporary base in Soho, however, I can munch my way through every cuisine in the world whenever I want to – and it's difficult to resist.

It reminds me of when I once went to stay at a posh hotel in Tuscany. The place was where some health guru had set up a clinic and loads of people staying were doing some juice diet. Unfortunately for them, there was also a Gordon Ramsay restaurant for "normal" clients. Worse, the two dining rooms were separated by a wall that didn't even reach to the ceiling and the smells from the Ramsay kitchen nearly caused a riot among the juice dieters every night.

If I open the window of my bedroom in Soho, I get the tantalising odours of about 30 top restaurants doing their best to lure me into the night. I even time my social life. If I'm meeting someone out, then I have to work out whether it's going to be an "on" or "off" day. It's not easy, this weight loss lark. Mind you, it's working – I've lost a stone and half in three weeks and had the pleasure of going into the shop where I buy my polo shirts and demanding a size smaller. I would thoroughly recommend this process to anyone wanting to lose weight, although I have been reading up on other methods for the weaker-willed.

My favourite is a two-week Caribbean cruise. The cruise has normal facilities and normal passengers. But if you join as a weight-loss passenger, you are given an irremovable tag. This singles you out and, should you try to approach any food or drink save for the meagre diet prescribed to you, a security man physically keeps you away from it. I'm tempted to go on the cruise simply to try and get past the system.

I must go now – I can smell dim sum through my window and I'm going to lock myself in my bathroom until the urge passes.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, AngularJS)

£25000 - £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: UI Developer - (UI, JavaScript, HTML...

Ashdown Group: Graduate UI Developer - HTML, CSS, Javascript

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Graduate UI Application Developer - ...

Ashdown Group: B2B Marketing Manager - Events, Digital, Offline

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: B2B Marketing Manager (Events, Digit...

Guru Careers: Senior Account Manager / SAM

£30 - 35k: Guru Careers: A Senior Account Manager / SAM is needed to join the ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Daily catch-up: Liz Kendall speaks to the Westminster press pack – kamikaze or courage?

John Rentoul
Ukraine’s hope of a future with the West has ended with death and annexation in the east  

Ukraine’s tragedy casts a pall over the EU summit

Mary Dejevsky
Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Is a quiet crusade to reform executive pay bearing fruit?

Dominic Rossi of Fidelity says his pressure on business to control rewards is working. But why aren’t other fund managers helping?
The King David Hotel gives precious work to Palestinians - unless peace talks are on

King David Hotel: Palestinians not included

The King David is special to Jerusalem. Nick Kochan checked in and discovered it has some special arrangements, too
More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years

End of the Aussie brain drain

More people moving from Australia to New Zealand than in the other direction for first time in 24 years
Meditation is touted as a cure for mental instability but can it actually be bad for you?

Can meditation be bad for you?

Researching a mass murder, Dr Miguel Farias discovered that, far from bringing inner peace, meditation can leave devotees in pieces
Eurovision 2015: Australians will be cheering on their first-ever entrant this Saturday

Australia's first-ever Eurovision entrant

Australia, a nation of kitsch-worshippers, has always loved the Eurovision Song Contest. Maggie Alderson says it'll fit in fine
Letterman's final Late Show: Laughter, but no tears, as David takes his bow after 33 years

Laughter, but no tears, as Letterman takes his bow after 33 years

Veteran talkshow host steps down to plaudits from four presidents
Ivor Novello Awards 2015: Hozier wins with anti-Catholic song 'Take Me To Church' as John Whittingdale leads praise for Black Sabbath

Hozier's 'blasphemous' song takes Novello award

Singer joins Ed Sheeran and Clean Bandit in celebration of the best in British and Irish music
Tequila gold rush: The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product

Join the tequila gold rush

The spirit has gone from a cheap shot to a multi-billion pound product
12 best statement wallpapers

12 best statement wallpapers

Make an impact and transform a room with a conversation-starting pattern
Paul Scholes column: Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?

Paul Scholes column

Does David De Gea really want to leave Manchester United to fight it out for the No 1 spot at Real Madrid?
Season's finale brings the end of an era for top coaches and players across the continent

The end of an era across the continent

It's time to say farewell to Klopp, Clement, Casillas and Xavi this weekend as they move on to pastures new, reports Pete Jenson
Bin Laden documents released: Papers reveal his obsession with attacking the US and how his failure to keep up with modern jihad led to Isis

'Focus on killing American people'

Released Bin Laden documents reveal obsession with attacking United States
Life hacks: The innovations of volunteers and medical workers are helping Medécins Sans Frontières save people around the world

Medécins Sans Frontières's life hacks

The innovations of volunteers and medical workers around the world are helping the charity save people
Ireland's same-sex marriage vote: As date looms, the Irish ask - how would God vote?

Same-sex marriage

As date looms, the Irish ask - how would God vote?
The underworld is going freelance: Why The Godfather's Mafia model is no longer viable

The Mafia is going freelance

Why the underworld model depicted in The Godfather is no longer viable