If you ask me...I’m sorry, but I can no longer hide my admiration for Lady Thatcher

If only there were some opportunity to commemorate the legacy of this great lady - a 'Thatcher Day', for instance - I know exactly how I would celebrate

Share

Iknow many readers of this newspaper will bristle at this – ding dong!, and so on – and I will never be able to ride the lift with Mark Steel again, which is a shame, as it is his greatest joy. (“I love riding the lift with you,” he once told me.) But I can no longer hide my admiration. Thatcher was an astonishing force, a hurricane of conviction, and, if there were such a day, I, for one, would certainly welcome the opportunity to commemorate her, plus can think of many appropriate ways of doing so.

I might, for example, spend Thatcher Day putting my xenophobia to one side and selling a shitload of arms to Iraq and if that only took up the morning – how long does selling a shitload of arms take? Not long, if you are efficient about it? – I could use the rest of the day to do something else. I could, for instance, get busy furthering my own individual interests and if this means eating a big juicy pie in front of my family while letting them go hungry, so be it. I may even go “ha, ha!” as I’m tucking in, and: “Nice pie!” This is Thatcher Day, after all, and if others are less fortunate than yourself, who do they have to blame? Really?

Obviously, should a large private corporation come to the door in the course of the day, I will drop to my knees – “Happy Thatcher Day! Have a railway!” – and if I put a wash on, I’ll make sure I also hang my soul out to dry. Alas, I do not have both a son and a daughter as I only have a son but, it goes without saying, I will sit him down and make it clear that even if I had a daughter, he would be my favourite, and it just wouldn’t matter how thick he was. However, I will not and will never take that view of society that, in effect, destroys whole communities unless nothing much is on television, in which case I’ll probably give it a go. Has to be better than MasterChef.

So, let’s campaign for a Thatcher Day, and let’s start now, and I say all this knowing that Owen Jones will probably never allow me to sit on his knee again. Shame, especially as he once told me: “I love it when you sit on my knee. It is my greatest joy.”

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Senior VMware Platform Engineer - VMware / SAN / Tier3 DC

£45000 - £55000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Senior VMware Platform En...

Recruitment Genius: Purchasing Assistant

£10000 - £16000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A distributor of specialist ele...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Ledger Assistant

£17000 - £19000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A distributor of specialist ele...

Ashdown Group: Automated Tester / Test Analyst - .Net / SQL - Cheshire

£32000 per annum + pension, healthcare & 23 days holiday: Ashdown Group: A gro...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Labour and the Liberal Democrats would both end winter fuel allowances for pensioners with enough income to pay the 40p tax rate  

Politicians court the grey vote because pensioners, unlike the young, vote

Andrew Grice
US President Barack Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping have a drink after agreeing a deal on carbon emissions  

Beijing must face down the perils of being big and powerful – or boom may turn to bust

Peter Popham
Homeless Veterans campaign: Donations hit record-breaking £1m target after £300,000 gift from Lloyds Bank

Homeless Veterans campaign

Donations hit record-breaking £1m target after huge gift from Lloyds Bank
Flight MH370 a year on: Lost without a trace – but the search goes on

Lost without a trace

But, a year on, the search continues for Flight MH370
Germany's spymasters left red-faced after thieves break into brand new secret service HQ and steal taps

Germany's spy HQ springs a leak

Thieves break into new €1.5bn complex... to steal taps
International Women's Day 2015: Celebrating the whirlwind wit of Simone de Beauvoir

Whirlwind wit of Simone de Beauvoir

Simone de Beauvoir's seminal feminist polemic, 'The Second Sex', has been published in short-form for International Women's Day
Mark Zuckerberg’s hiring policy might suit him – but it wouldn’t work for me

Mark Zuckerberg’s hiring policy might suit him – but it wouldn’t work for me

Why would I want to employ someone I’d be happy to have as my boss, asks Simon Kelner
Confessions of a planespotter: With three Britons under arrest in the UAE, the perils have never been more apparent

Confessions of a planespotter

With three Britons under arrest in the UAE, the perils have never been more apparent. Sam Masters explains the appeal
Russia's gulag museum 'makes no mention' of Stalin's atrocities

Russia's gulag museum

Ministry of Culture-run site 'makes no mention' of Stalin's atrocities
The big fresh food con: Alarming truth behind the chocolate muffin that won't decay

The big fresh food con

Joanna Blythman reveals the alarming truth behind the chocolate muffin that won't decay
Virginia Ironside was my landlady: What is it like to live with an agony aunt on call 24/7?

Virginia Ironside was my landlady

Tim Willis reveals what it's like to live with an agony aunt on call 24/7
Paris Fashion Week 2015: The wit and wisdom of Manish Arora's exercise in high camp

Paris Fashion Week 2015

The wit and wisdom of Manish Arora's exercise in high camp
8 best workout DVDs

8 best workout DVDs

If your 'New Year new you' regime hasn’t lasted beyond February, why not try working out from home?
Miguel Layun interview: From the Azteca to Vicarage Road with a million followers

From the Azteca to Vicarage Road with a million followers

Miguel Layun is a star in Mexico where he was criticised for leaving to join Watford. But he says he sees the bigger picture
Frank Warren column: Amir Khan ready to meet winner of Floyd Mayweather v Manny Pacquiao

Khan ready to meet winner of Mayweather v Pacquiao

The Bolton fighter is unlikely to take on Kell Brook with two superstar opponents on the horizon, says Frank Warren
War with Isis: Iraq's government fights to win back Tikrit from militants - but then what?

Baghdad fights to win back Tikrit from Isis – but then what?

Patrick Cockburn reports from Kirkuk on a conflict which sectarianism has made intractable
Living with Alzheimer's: What is it really like to be diagnosed with early-onset dementia?

What is it like to live with Alzheimer's?

Depicting early-onset Alzheimer's, the film 'Still Alice' had a profound effect on Joy Watson, who lives with the illness. She tells Kate Hilpern how she's coped with the diagnosis