Rant & Rave (23/09/12)

Rant

This season we will mostly be wearing see-through dresses, leather peaked caps and stiletto trainers, according to reporters on the front line of New York Fashion Week.

This will be great news for those who have come straight from a future-themed nightie party at a 1980s gay bar and didn't have time to get changed on the way. But there's a worry that ordinary civilians may get caught in the trap of thinking that fashion is all a load of nonsense and just carry on wearing their normal clothes.

This season, you must not be seen out in public in your normal clothes, or everyone will point and laugh and it will be just like school. Of course, anyone who has read or seen The Devil Wears Prada will remember the speech about how cerulean blue "filtered down" from the catwalks and that lumpy sweater you're wearing is the direct result of some girl with an eating disorder staggering up a runway in platform moon boots and a bikini made out of ostrich tears, but the key here is in the filtering down.

When this season's trends have filtered down into dresses that you can't see through, tweed peaked caps and, er, trainers, then we will wear them. Until then, let the trendies point and laugh. They'll be the ones with visible knickers.

Rave

You wouldn't catch the Duchess of Cambridge in a see-through dress. In fact, last week we saw her saving her modesty (at least that time) with a sensible underskirt beneath her floaty dress. It just goes to show that you should listen to granny and not to fashionistas when you're stepping out of an aeroplane on a windy day.

Nana, not Vogue, knows best.