It's official: Peppa is the most evil pig in Britain. And not just for jumping in puddles. This time, naughty Peppa has been caught red-handed portraying her poor father in a bad light. According to research done by Netmums to celebrate Fathers Day today, Daddy Pig is just one of the television dads causing a crisis of masculinity by showing men as "useless", which is a "subtle form of discrimination".
I really sympathise with daddy pigs everywhere who feel that their camping, DIY and barbecue skills are being devalued to get cheap laughs out of pre-school children. I am completely against imposing boring generic stereotypes according to gender. But aren't we looking at motes and beams here? Has anyone noticed the portrayal of women in the media in the past week?
Caroline Lucas MP was reprimanded in the Commons for wearing a "No More Page 3" T-shirt, and ordered to cover it up. However, The Sun has not been reprimanded for Page 3, which just shows us girls that we have the right to choose to wear anything we like, as long as it's big bare boobies.
Ikea launched a range of doll's house furniture for daughters and other little "princesses". It's no wonder Daddy Pig can't hang a picture: he too was probably taught as a child that anything domestic is only for girls.
An advert appeared for a new yoghurt that appears to give women orgasms. And the model only eats a teaspoonful! Suppose she finished the whole pot?
Social media have been highlighting the way that images of female celebrities are digitally altered. One male photoshopper, in particular, seems to object to women having lower eyelids, or more than three pairs of ribs.
Nick Clegg and other senior Liberal Democrats admitted that they failed to address a culture of sexism and harassment within their party, which included several women alleging that they were groped by a senior colleague. Only 12.5 per cent of Lib Dem MPs are women, which is puzzling since nearly 51 per cent of the people they represent are women. Maybe women consider becoming MPs and then can't be fussed with being told what T-shirt they can wear.
The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America's magazine, Bulletin, ran with a cover image of a woman with enormous breasts and a teeny tiny chainmail bikini, and claimed inside that Barbie is a role model because she "maintained her quiet dignity the way a woman should". Some of the women who objected, including successful sci-fi authors, have been posting online the hate mail that they received as a result.
Trust me, Daddy Pig, I understand how you feel about being portrayed on TV as an idiot. But spare a thought for Mummy Pig and all the other TV women whose role is to clean up your messes with a perky smile. When TV has you bodge your DIY while pouting, shutting up, being constantly sexually available and wearing a bikini, then come back and tell us how humiliated you feel by your lousy portrayal in the media.